Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT The Odd Couple
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 2 | Aired on January 13, 2007
Scott Wallace is clearly not in much of a hurry to get to school; he's just wandering around his house when he happens to glance out his window and notice that Stan the Burly Contractor is making a return visit to Ahmed's house across the street. Inside, at 7:44:13, Ahmed has been busy knocking a hole in the wall with a claw hammer. He pulls out a brown-wrapped parcel about the size of a large dictionary and stuffs it into his backpack. He's about to head out, when Stan appears from around a hallway corner and sucker-punches him. It's a pretty one-sided fight, but even so, Stan still manages to have fear in his voice as he says, "This is for everyone you bastards killed today." Ahmed gets thrown around some more, and there's one Raimi-esque moment where he's lying on the floor, and Stan kicks him so hard that he flies up and comes down through the glass top of the coffee table. "You're dead, do you hear me? You're dead!" Remember when he just wanted to talk? The six o'clock hour was such an innocent time. He throws Ahmed over the kitchen counter, which puts Ahmed within reach of his dropped backpack, from which he produces a handgun. From the floor, Ahmed puts a round in Stan's leg. Now Stan's begging for his life, but Ahmed yells something in what I assume is Arabic and shoots Stan dead. Panting, Ahmed pulls a huge shard of glass out of his thigh, hollering in pain. He probably never even liked that coffee table anyway. Right then is when Scott decides to walk in, asking what happened. Well, there's a bloody guy named Ahmed standing next to you and a dead redneck on the floor. So the math, Scott. Oh, right, Ahmed's his math tutor. Never mind. Scott's about to call an ambulance, but Ahmed blocks him, saying that he can't go to the hospital. "You're hurt," Scott says so pathetically that the wound might as well be his own. Ahmed sticks the gun in Scott's chest, saying that he shouldn't have come: "I don't want to hurt you, but I will unless you do exactly what I say." Scott whines that they're friends. "You can't even pronounce my name," says Ahmed, and even I was getting tired of hearing Scott say "uh-MED" all the time. And when Scott hears his "friend" angrily demonstrate the correct Arabic pronunciation, that's when he knows he's screwed. Because while "uh-MED" is friendly and helpful and kind of cuddly, "AKH-medd" is one scary-ass motherfucker. It's 7:46:22.