Episode Report Card Cate: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Really Did
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.03.2002
Alas, that is not meant to be, since Ruthie is sneaking down the front stairs and out the door. She looks heavenward and speaks to God, wasting His time by telling Him, "[Dopey] better get here before I get home from school. You can only expect so much from me." You know, I don't think God is all that worried about whether or not Ruthie can keep Matt's secrets. After all, He's known as the Supreme Being, not the Half-Witted, Needs A Hobby, Loser Being. There's a reason for that.
Over at Plot Contrivance's parents' house, Dopey is getting ready to carry her across the threshold. That's romantic, I suppose, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, unless the happy couple is planning on living with her parents. I can't be absolutely certain, since I taped over last week's episode already, but it seems like PC is wearing a different dress than she had on during her date last night. Did she pack along an extra outfit, just in case she had to rush off and get married? I know I always used to do that when I went out on a first date. Just as Dopey is about to bring his bride inside, Rabbi Richard Lewis opens the door and orders Dopey to put his daughter down. Plot Contrivance, in turn, orders Matt to put her down inside the house. He obeys. PC giggles and goes over to kiss her unhappy father. Rabbi Richard gives a short speech about how he hopes that Dopey and his daughter were just rehearsing the whole threshold bit, since he will not allow her to marry a non-Jew. Like I said, it's a pretty short speech, but it takes him about three or four decades to get it all out. That's probably because he's using his annoying trademarked stand-up comedian delivery, even though there's nothing about the speech that is even remotely funny.
Here comes Laraine Newman, playing the Jewish mother stereotype much, much better than any of my friends' mothers ever have. Laraine is worried because PC stayed out all night, and now she's forcing her to eat breakfast. Rabbi Richard leaves to pray; Laraine redeems herself in my eyes slightly when she asks Dopey, "How can you see my daughter's beautiful smile with your hair in your face like that?" I hope that's not the only good line they're gonna give her. As Laraine leaves, PC tells Dopey that she thinks her mother "suspects" that they are married, but that she will accept Matt eventually. She thinks her father never will. After the great flashing of the wedding rings last night, I have to wonder why Dopey is no longer wearing his. My husband lost his ring in the ocean about eight months after we were married (making me real glad we were too cheap to spring for platinum), but this is not even a day after the wedding, and Dopey's already misplaced his ring?