Episode Report Card Cate: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Really Did
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.03.2002
Ruthie is on the front porch with Mr. and Mrs. Dopey. Lucy and Mary are trying to open the front door, but Matt is holding it closed from the outside while he insists that he has something to tell Ruthie before he talks to the others. It's pretty funny when Dopey lets go of the doorknob and Lucy and Mary go sailing backwards. I'm hoping to see them fall on their asses, but Robbie catches Mary in his arms. He almost gets to cop a feel at the same time -- though Adam LaVorgna probably doesn't care about that these days. We get a close-up of the twins, and it looks like they're about to speak, but fortunately, they don't. Dopey suggests that everyone repair to the living room. Plot Contrivance stands there and looks a little overwhelmed by the fact that the whole damn CamFam is standing in the foyer, staring at her and Dopey. What the hell kind of freak family did she marry into anyway?
Everyone meanders aimlessly around the living room for what feels like about half a day. Before they sit down, the CamRents deposit the twins behind the couch. That's right -- behind the couch. What the fuck? It's one of the strangest things I've ever seen, but what's even weirder is that the camera actually focuses in on them while they're doing it. Is this a shout-out to all the people who are appalled at how the twins are treated? I'd like to think so. Dopey finally gets around to performing the introductions, which takes up the rest of the day. Then Plot Contrivance starts telling Ruthie that she's heard about how much the girl likes horses. Ruthie's very adamant about the fact that she likes horses a lot. There's a cheap joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to look for it. After this pleasant intro, PC gets right down to business, telling Ruthie, "Maybe you and I could talk about my horse -- a horse I can't take care of when I go away to Columbia next year." Ever since Adam LaVorgna allegedly did his stint in rehab, Robbie's been such a great character. Not only has his IQ risen considerably, but now it's like he exists solely to mock all the characters, and I love him for it. He says to PC, "If I knew you better, I wouldn't think that sounds like a bribe of some sort." While that sentence makes very little sense as an actual sentence, I think I get the gist of what he's trying to say here, and it's pretty funny. Everyone else has been watching this exchange with some bewilderment, so PC changes the topic, announcing that she and the Dopester are engaged. She's really upbeat as she says it, but the response is still rather underwhelming. When nobody says anything, Dopey launches into a long speech about how it might seem crazy to get engaged so quickly, but he and Sarah are in love. His delivery suggests that he's been dipping into Rabbi Richard's secret stash, and the dialogue is so achingly dull that I have to read a couple chapters of my college accounting textbook just to wake up enough to continue the recap. At one point, he slips up and calls PC his "wife," which is something Lucy and Mary jump all over, but Dopey performs a half-decent save by calling PC his "wife-to-be." The CamRents welcome PC into the family, albeit grudgingly. Lucy asks, "So, when's the big day?" Dopey suggests "May-June," which is not a month I've ever heard of. Maybe he meant to say "May-television sweeps month"? PC addresses the room in general as she asks, "Ever been to a Jewish wedding?" Everyone falls dead silent. When Dopey explains that PC's father is a rabbi, both CamRents start in with the funny face-making. It's not pretty.