Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pictures
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.13.2001
Cut to the scene of Jake's date, just as his cell phone starts ringing. He oozes a laugh and apologizes to the woman as he clicks on the phone. He's greeted by Grace's urgent voice: "Tiffany's water broke. She's fine but she needs you to pick up the midwife. Is that okay?" Jake says he can pick up the midwife, and his date pricks up her ears. Tiffany calls out that Jake can just take the midwife to her apartment, and she'll meet them there. Jake agrees. Clicking off his phone, he squirms, "Ah...heh. Okay. I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to go." His date says she "kind of figured," and gives him a quizzical look. She asks whose midwife he has to pick up. "Oh, just this girl. Who's having my baby. My ex-girlfriend," Jake says, forcing a smile. "Oh. Cool," his date says. Jake makes himself chuckle as if he agrees.
Lily and the Curmudgeon are finally leaving the radio station. She's standing talking to Rick on her cell phone, who's scraping his truck and asking whether she needs him to come and pick her up. She says she's okay, and the Curmudgeon barks, "You're coming with me! It's terrible out there." Lily tells Rick that Les has offered to drive her home. She tells Rick to call the kids and let them know she'll be home "real soon." Famous last words.
Meanwhile, Karen's place is glowing with all the warmth of those down home country Christmas specials. I'm expecting Dolly or Kenny to pop out from behind the tree at any second. The front door opens, and Karen rushes to smother the kids with hugs and kisses, gushing that she's so happy to see them. Judy closes the door and wearily sags against it. Karen offers to get her some egg nog -- she has three kinds, after all. Judy declines, saying she's not over the drive yet, and thanks Eli for taking over. The kids head into the living room, and Judy says she should get going, since she still has to meet Sam. Karen grabs her arm and tells her that's crazy talk. She suggests that Judy call Sam and have him pick her up at Karen's. She leaves Judy to make the call and joins the kids in the living room, saying, "I was so worried about you. Now we can have our sing-along."
Tiffany's pacing the floor over at Manning Manor. Zoe watches her and then gets a jolt, saying, "Oh my god, I just realized something! You're having your baby on Christmas!" Grace rolls her eyes and snarks, "Oh my god. Maybe it'll be another messiah." You know, Santa's probably still checking his list, Gracie. It's not too late for you to get a nice pile of reindeer poop in your stocking. Tiffany flinches and says she hopes the kid's not the second coming -- "too much pressure!" The phone rings, and Zoe jumps over the back of the couch to answer it. It's Rick, calling to let the kids know that he and Lily are on their way home. "Tiffany's water broke," Zoe says matter-of-factly. Rick manages to keep the truck on the road, but exclaims, "My god! Is she okay? Let me talk to her." Tiffany assures him that she's fine; she talked to her doctor, and she has "loads of time." Rick tells her not to move. He'll be right there. More famous last words. Have these people never seen a woman-in-labor- during-a-blizzard episode before? Tiffany's cell phone starts ringing, and Tiffany asks Grace to grab it. She sinks into a chair and hands off the phone to Zoe, saying she's "totally head-rushing here." Rick asks Zoe if everything is okay. "Jake's getting the midwife," she informs him. "There's a midwife?" Rick asks. Grace clicks on Tiffany's phone, and it's Jake. He tells her he can't find the midwife. "Jake can't find the midwife," Grace relays, sounding a little panicked. Zoe repeats the news to Rick. Tiffany says that she's probably stranded at her job because she rides a scooter. She rides a scooter in Chicago in the winter in the midst of blizzard warnings? That doesn't seem wise. Tiffany says it's "the health-food place on Third and Norton." Jake repeats it, and his date's face lights up with recognition. "That's my market," she chirps. It's a small world, after all! "What?" Grace snipes. Jake says he has to go and clicks off the phone. Rick gets a beep and tells Zoe that has to go, but he's six blocks away, so he'll be home soon. He clicks on the other line, and it's Lily, telling him that she and the Curmudgeon were in an accident. The potato flakes are flying fast and furious, collecting on Lily like she's Thanksgiving dinner. She asks Rick if he can come and pick them up. So much for being home soon.