Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pictures
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.13.2001
Soliloquy Lily says, "If I thought Rick wanted another kid -- I mean really wanted one -- then...maybe." She beams.
Lily clicks off the bedside lamp and says, "We're not going to have more kids, are we?"
Soliloquy Rick sighs, "I guess, if she really wants one..." Okay, it's not a puppy we're talking about here. This just isn't right.
In bed, Lily sighs, "Then I guess we have to deal with this situation." She offers to get her tubes tied, and kids that it sounds like something one of her "mother's friends would have said, back in the '70s." Rick pecks her cheek before rolling over and saying that it doesn't have to be her; he could "always have the old snip-snip." Lily's all over it. She leans over him to be sure she heard him right -- did he just offer to have a vasectomy? "Did I?" Rick asks. "Did you?" Little Ricky cries. Lily nuzzles his cheek and proclaims it one of the most "romantic, sexy things" she's ever heard. Oookay. I doubt it'll be on a Hallmark anytime soon, but whatever. She nibbles his ear and murmurs, "You're unbelievable." Rick tries to smile, and fights the urge to beat his skull against the headboard. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" he thinks, as we head to commercials.
After the break, we find Jake at Tiffany's place, where she's sitting on the bed folding baby clothes and pouting. "You have a date," she says. Jake looks up from the desk and insists that it isn't a date: "It's two non-religious divorced people, whose kids are with their exes, having dinner on Christmas Eve." Changing the subject, he asks whether the midwife has "any letters" after her name. Tiffany resents his implication that the midwife isn't as good as the people at the hospital, but Jake says he's not trying to be insulting; he's just wondering how to make out the check. He mutters, "At least you gave up on the water birth. That was expensive and weird." Tiffany lumbers up off the bed, grumbling that it isn't her fault that insurance won't cover a home birth. She adds that she said she would pay him back. Jake tears off the check and hands it to her, saying, "I don't want you to pay me back. I just want you and the baby to be safe." Tiffany gives him a half smile and says she knows, adding that "statistically, hospital births aren't actually safer." Jake glibly retorts that hospitals are fine: "If you were to ask Lily, she'd tell you that she had two incredibly smooth, successful hospital deliveries that were attended to by excellent medical personnel that -- yes -- had lots of letters after their names." Tiffany grits her teeth but manages to stay calm, saying, "You're mad at me." Jake tries to deny it, but Tiffany's not buying. She says, "Your ambivalence about this baby can't touch me. You can't bum me out. I'm unbummable." Jake has nothing to say to that.