Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Will Survive
By Gwen | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.16.2000
At least our deli wasn't haunted, though. Billy appears in the chair that used to be his and tells Ally she has to give Mark a chance. Ally says she doesn't have to give Mark anything because he isn't Billy. They babble a bit and Ally says she hates Billy for dying. She carps that she can't even wear black because Billy wasn't hers, and maybe that's why she feels so alone. She says that life going on feels like an insult to him. He tells her to remember him once in a while, and that'll be enough. She asks what he'll do for her. He says he'll make sure it never rains when she's outside, but I think he was joking. Ally stands there for a moment to let the light shine on her eyes as if she's pretty or something. Then she tells him she needs to say goodbye. Billy says he knows that, too. They hug.
Nelle's following Richard around the firm, asking whether he promised Mark an eventual partnership and equity. Ling asks what's going on. "Richard and I are having a discussion," her so-called friend says dismissively. "Hmm," Ling says, and walks away. Nelle reminds Richard that he promised her she'd be the first associate to make partner. "If that doesn't happen..." she threatens. "Nelle, the promises I make are irrelevant," says Richard, not at all upset. "Why are they irrelevant?" asks Nelle testily. "Because I don't keep them," Richard says in his "Duh!" way. Nelle starts telling him that it would behoove him to keep this one. (Yes, she really did say "behoove.") She's cut off by Gloria Gaynor's singing, even though no one's supposed to be able to hear it. Ally comes out of the elevator wearing sunglasses and running from the phantom diva. Ally bumps into Richard and greets him and Nelle. "Hey. Still being chased by Gloria Gaynor?" asks Richard. Ally checks with them to make sure Ms. Gaynor's not really there. Nelle smirks as if Ally's behavior isn't frightening. Richard suggests that Ally fix up Gloria with Al Green. Ally argues that the distraction is good. Then we hear the beginning of Queen's "We Will Rock You." Ally says, "Oh, no. [gasp] At least it's not disco." But Richard says that he hears it, too. They follow their ears.
Okay, so this Mark guy is in his office, listening to Queen and doing this synchronized routine in his mirror. You all know how the song goes "clap, clap, CLAP!" right? On every third clap, Mark moves. First he's standing with his profile to the mirror, and on the clap, he snaps his head towards it. Then he jumps to face it full-on. Then he straightens his tie. Clap, clap, CLAP! He smiles to the left and smiles to the right. With each smile, we hear the "ting!" of sparkling teeth. Then he's raising his eyebrows on the beat. He's totally cracking me up. The other lawyers stare at him from the doorway with Elaine. Nelle's also amused. "I told you, Richard, this guy's a major kook. He should be in a rubber room!" bitches Ally, who is just jealous that her quirks are nowhere near as entertaining. Mark turns to face them, cranking off the jams with his remote. "Good morning, folks," says he. "What are you doing?" Ally asks in a syrupy voice. "Pre-trial anthem," Mark replies. Ha! Okay, that's all this show needed to come back: Freddie Mercury. Mark says he likes to fill himself with a theme song before he closes. "A theme song?" repeats Ally for the closed-captioning-impaired. "And fresh breath," says Mark, spritzing his mouth with breath spray. He's cool because he's so totally deadpan. I think they could actually just replace John Cage with this guy. Ally asks what Mark's going to say in his closing. The scene changes in reply.