Episode Report Card 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Cinderella Story
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.29.2000
Andie and Jack, looking queasy, sit at a table littered with ravaged plates. Dawson sets down some "Spanish mackerel quiche" for them to taste. Oh, God. Jack says that Gale needs "some serious help," and Andie idly wonders "what rock these people have been cooking under." Jen "Exit Strategy" Lindley appears at the door, and Dawson mildly jokes about how little he's seen of Jen lately. Dude, she's been promoting If These Walls Could Talk 2. Give her a break. She claims the reason she's been making herself scarce lately is that she's been spending most of her time with Henry "Trenchcoat Mafia" Parker, and then offers her services as a waitress. Dawson acknowledges that Gale "is in immediate need of assistance," and then right on cue a loud crash emanates from the kitchen. Ha. Ha. H- I can't even finish that one. Dawson asks how soon Jen can start. I've seen this plotline so many times before. So have you all. WE DESERVE BETTER.
A couple of crews row on what I guess we're meant to believe is the Charles, to establish that we're back at non-Harvard. In his dorm room, A.J. uses a tissue to dab at Joey's exposed knee, and whines some more about his inability to choose a reading for his awards ceremony. Joey non-sequiturs, "She's pretty." A.J. looks up and pretends not to know who she means. Joey says that Morgan's really pretty and "so smart." And you're basing the latter assessment on --? Because her ear-bleeding French really didn't get that job done for me. A.J. scoffs at the idea that Morgan is smart, and then dabs at Joey's knee some more, whereupon she gasps and flinches, and then asks why A.J. didn't tell Joey about Morgan. A.J. lamely offers, "I don't know. I guess we have so little time together, I figured I'd just concentrate on the big things." Oh, I get it. Like astronomy. ASS. Joey gently asks why he'd think that his oldest (word) friend isn't a big thing. A.J. deflects by asking Joey how much she talks about her friends to him, and Joey unzips the back of her American Eagle Outfitters sweater the better to yank out her own spine, and murmurs, "I guess you're right." A.J. yammers some more about his reading, and Joey asks if he and Morgan ever dated. Not exactly answering, he tells her, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about." He fusses some more with her knee, saying that he doesn't want to get any foreign bodies on her skin because blah blah something about hemoglobin, and she's like, "I know what hemoglobin is," and he says he thinks he has something better than the (I presume) iodine in his hand, and he very slowly leans forward and kisses Joey's boo-boo. ON HER KNEE, get your mind out of the gutter. Joey kind of tenses up with anticipation of...what, she's not sure. He kisses her again, and she says she's feeling a little light-headed, and she thinks her hemoglobin isn't transporting enough oxygen to her brain, ha ha heh, and they start making out, but are (fortunately) interrupted by the appearance of Morgan barging right in on them. She starts to go but A.J. calls her back (eliciting a look of consternation from Joey) and she hunkers down and calls him "Arthur" and advises him to "go with the 'Nature of Love' piece." "'Arthur'?" Joey asks, but they both ignore her, and A.J. asks Morgan if she doesn't think that piece is too old, but she says it isn't, and talks a lot more crap about A.J.'s no-doubt-shitty writing, and then disses the outfit he's already laid out for the ceremony, and then drags Joey out by the arm. Possessive much?
In one universe, Pacey brings Buzz out to work on his boat, and Buzz lies (though Pacey doesn't know it yet) about the whereabouts of his dad. In my universe, John and Darrill sit on a bench in a snowy park that looks a lot like Christie Pits, not far from my house in Toronto. Darrill leans back with his legs really wide apart and his feet in big, ugly white moon boots. John looks glum, and holds a small orange football on his lap. Darrill checks his watch and briskly says, "Right! 1:15. Now is the time that I think you and I should spend 'quality time' together. Now, I know the concerns of a kid aren't the same as a gouty twenty-eight-year-old's [Darrill chuckles], but still, you can tell anything to this Big Brother, my Little Brother." Darrill grins expectantly. John stares into space. Darrill pokes him jovially and says, "Your turn." John turns to Darrill and says, "Okay, Daryl." "da-RILL!" Darrill instantly corrects him, and John continues: "Darrill. Yeah, I've got a problem. I got a girl pregnant." Darrill sputters, "Holy cow! Holy cow -- but you're only eight! Is that possible?" "No," John admits mopily, and gets up and walks a few yards away from the bench. Darrill starts laughing in a forced way, and says, "Ah! You're pulling my leg. You're pulling my leg. Well, that's good. But as far as that whole ministry of women is concerned, I think you should wait. I am."