Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Technobabel
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.27.2005
At a reception for the Tellarites, Trip finishes a joke with, "So he says, 'Well, I'm not really a pilot.' Heh heh." The Tellarites look at him blankly. As the camera cuts away, we hear Trip say (off camera), "Oh. You don't get it." Hee! There was something incredibly funny about that direction and with Trinneer's delivery. A steward sets more "alien" food on a buffet table as a Tellarite looks on. Trip scampers over to where T'Pol and Quantum are discussing the ship's temperature and says he likes the Tellarites for saying stuff like it is: "It's refreshing -- speaking your mind for a change." When has Trip ever NOT spoken his mind? Quantum squares his shoulders and says, "You don't feel free speaking your mind with the rest of us?" T'Pol looks interested in hearing Trip's response. Trip says that Quantum knows what he means. "No, maybe you'd like to explain it to us," Quantum snaps. Trip looks confused. "Why don't you change your uniform before you stink up the place," Quantum adds, walking away. Trip finally catches on: "Ah, practicing your Tellarite -- I get it." Quantum turns to glare at him. Trip shuffles out of the room uncomfortably. T'Pol looks impassively at Quantum, who finally grins, saying, "When in Rome." And that's the first time Quantum's assholishness has made me crack up. T'Pol questions the Rome reference. "Forget it," Quantum says. So I do.
Quantum talks to Wilbur about how much he hates on the Andorians. He remembers the last time he was in Andorian space, "I was on the command deck of one of our cruisers -- driving those blue demons back into their territory." Wait, they went to Duke? Aw, kill them ALL! Given the humans' past with Andorians, Wilbur wonders why they should trust human impartiality. Quantum says he doesn't have a choice. Wilbur accepts this and moves on to the food, saying it looks like their chef went through a lot of trouble. "I'm told these are authentic, Tellarite dishes," Quantum says. Let's take a look at these "authentic" dishes, shall we? I see parsnips sticking out among wild carrots, halved raw artichokes, halved pomegranates, a whole and some halved kiwanos, and a turban squash. You know, DS9 was so much better about making their food really foreign-looking. They would take real food and dye it a different color and it looked completely bizarre. It was really cool even if a lot of it was sushi. Wilbur snaps that he can get all that food at home and was hoping to sample human cuisine. See -- he wanted to act human! That's SOME Ambassador! As Quantum snaps back that he can have Chef whip up something, Hoshi calls him to the Bridge.
Bridge. Hoshi plays back Shran's garbled distress message, and Mayweather adds that the Andorians have no ships within range to respond. Quantum decides to take a two-hour detour to try and find Shran. "Contact Babel -- let them we're going to be delayed," Quantum grumps. And while you're at it, build me a tower, bitch! Uh, I mean, "Nimrod."