Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | 2 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Federal Agent Question Mark
By Kim | Season 22 | Episode 1 | Aired on 02.16.2011
And that's all we get to meet so far! Back to Probst who blathers on and about the challenge of a lifetime and strangers who have to figure out whom to trust and, dude, it's the 22nd season. I think we get it. Then the camera pulls back and shows Probst sitting in the back of the chopper with his legs dangling out into thin air. I would bet a million dollars that he was wearing a harness under his shirt for that shot.
After credits, the helicopter lands on the beach. Probst hops out first and then helps the others out. As they mosey on over to the mats, we meet Mike from Zapatera, who is an Iraq War veteran. He looks like G.I. Joe, and he says that he thinks he's going to win because he's been trained for this. I don't think he knows what show he's on. He does understand that this is Survivor right? And not like Surviving the Elements? Actual survival tactics matter very little on this show. Unless his peers in the military were stabbing one another in the back all the time, I don't know that he has received the proper training.
The helicopter takes off and Probst welcomes them to the show. But then, he announces that there are two more players joining them. Why, who ever could it be? At least they don't draw it out too long, since we all know who these two will be: Boston Rob and Russell. Boston Rob has packed on a few more pounds, although I guess that's a good strategy since you know you're going to lose some along the way. Russell, whatever. I refuse to give that asshole any attention. The assembled contestants are delighted to see Rob, and seem to have mixed emotions about Russell.
Sidebar: Here are two reasons why Jeff Probst needs a reality check and has been spending too much time in Survivor world and doesn't understand how the rest of the world works anymore. Number one, according to his blog, before the game started, he gathered the contestants together and played "Lose Yourself" by Eminem and screamed the lyrics in their faces. The lyrics that he read from a piece of paper. Just picture that happening for a moment. Are you getting douche chills? Because I am. And second, he said before the season that if you don't like Russell, you're not a true fan of the show (I'm paraphrasing.) Okay. I can appreciate that Russell mixes things up and makes things exciting. But so does Boston Rob. So have a lot of contestants. I don't like watching Russell for the same reason I didn't like watching Jonny Fairplay; they are assholes down to the bone (unlike Rob, who puts it on for effect and often seems a little chagrined about it), and I don't like rewarding that kind of behavior with attention, positive or negative. And frankly, I don't like someone telling me how to think about one of the people on the show. If you are a producer of the show and I am having the "wrong" reaction as a viewer, then you are to blame, not me. You should have edited or cast the show differently. Anyway, sorry to go off on that, but this is probably the only episode of the show I will recap this season and I had to get that off my chest.