Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Whirlwind of Stupid
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 10.16.2011
Andy asks about the particularly lavish Christmas at the Giudices considering their money problems. Teresa claims she was joking (yet again!) when she snarked at Juicy about not buying her diamonds and says she gets swept up in shopping for her kids. Which, fair enough... until you try to defend how vigilant you've been about minding your finances. Teresa insists her decision to buy Gia an iPod Touch was a step down from Gia's original request for an iPhone. Issue #1: Gia is nine years old. Issue #2: An iPod Touch still starts at $200. Issue #3: Melissa says, "Gia has an iPhone." Teresa: "Now she does." She says Gia wanted both, but she only got her one. Andy snarks, "Boy, you are really cracking a whip." OMG, I can't even...
Andy brings up Melissa and Kathy's comments that Teresa is "smiling through the pain." Since she's prepared to fight literally every statement made tonight (including but not limited to "The sky is blue"), Teresa gets her back up about that, too, before everyone's like, "No, though, they were being nice to you." Faced with such a perplexing thing as a compliment, Teresa remains silent.
Andy continues down this fruitless road, asking if Joe helped Teresa in her time of need. She says he didn't and says Juicy got help from his father. A viewer asks about the auction that Teresa claimed she didn't hold. She says people came to her house to take pictures of the furniture. Whaaaaa? She says the nebulous Internet folk claimed she had Picasso paintings "for, like, $50,000." Andy notes that they'd probably go for more like $50 million. Teresa submits a third quote of the night: "See, my husband would never go for a Picasso painting." Andy zings her back, "I don't think he could." BAM!
Andy brings up Teresa's vow to pay back all her debts. He puts them at $11 million, but she says they're closer to $8 million and that a lot of land in their possession has been sold. He wonders why she didn't absolve herself by declaring bankruptcy instead, then answers his own question by noting that they would have both gone to jail if they'd been found guilty of bankruptcy fraud. Teresa acts like that was never in the cards. Melissa says, "Well that's all public knowledge, right?" And Teresa's all, "Exactly." Wait, what? Like many a Housewife before her, Teresa seems to think acknowledging the very charges against her renders them null and void. Again I say, These people are crazy.