Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Collision
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.01.2004
Joan's picking out "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" at the piano teacher's house. Yeah, yeah, I know what the show's calling it. I'm calling it "Itsy-Bitsy." The teacher, whose name we don't find out until much later and who I'm going to get tired of referring to as "the teacher," is named Eva. (Trivia note: Louise Fletcher played a woman named "Aunt Eva" in a TV movie called The Devil's Arithmetic. Not that I saw it, or anything.) Anyway, the teacher's throwing back alcohol like water. Joan screws up a couple of notes, and it pretty much goes south from there. Eva makes sounds and gestures of great put-upon-ness and finally says, "Stop! In the name of all that is holy, stop!" Joan thought she was doing okay. Eva: "So I'm blind and you're deaf." I think she probably is very nearly blind: she's wearing a magnifying glass around her neck, and she has some mannerisms that would go along with poor eyesight. Joan whines that she already cleaned out Eva's fridge, and claims there was something moving in there. I'm surprised to hear there was anything other than alcohol in there, frankly. This woman's as much a boozician as a musician. Joan adds, "You owe me." Eva: "Just try not to damage one of the few senses I have left." Frink: "Well, she still has her sense of indignation."
Joan plinks away while Eva uses her magnifying glass to peer at a clock. She rolls her eyes, then paces, then asks, "Where is the feeling for the notes you're playing?" She sits down next to Joan on the bench and says, "You know, without that, you make noise…not music." She starts out playing the spider song and breaks into a snippet of a classical piece. Joan's impressed: "Wow. That was great." Eva: "No one likes a suck-up." Tough audience. She adds, "So just play. And those are quarter notes, not half notes. You can count, can't you?" Joan tries again, and actually does manage to imbue it with more feeling, but still can't play all the notes correctly. The timer goes off, and Eva proclaims, "Thank God!" She tells Joan to start by dusting the piano and then she's to take out the garbage. Joan complains that Eva could have at least let her finish: "I was in the zone. That was pretty clear." She starts shuffling stuff around on top of the piano and finds a framed black and white picture of a woman at a piano. Joan blows a thick layer of dust away and asks, "How old were you here?" Eva, sinking into a chair with a cigarette, replies, "Younger." Joan clears away some more dust with her finger and says, "You look happy…and pretty. I mean, you still are…pretty." Eva: "Yeah. I'm Jayne Mansfield." Joan, what'd she just say about suck-ups? Joan asks, "Who?" Eva tells her, "Forget it. Just clean." Joan informs Eva that she lacks good people skills. Eva: "Then why don't you just leave, forget the lessons?" Joan mumbles, "God only knows."
Dr. Hughes is in his office, telling Kevin that the feelings he's been having are just peripheral and don't involve his central nervous system: "It doesn't mean you'll walk." Kevin asks how he can be sure, given that the doctor also told him he wouldn't have any feeling whatsoever down there. Dr. Hughes said the odds weren't in Kevin's favour. Kevin insists that the feelings must mean something. Dr. Hughes understands how much Kevin wants to take them as a sign. Kevin's getting more upset: "I don't want a miracle from you! I just want some answers." Hey, man, he's giving them to you, but they're not want you want to hear. It's like the saying: "God always answers prayers. Sometimes the answer is no." Kevin decides he wants a second opinion from someone who "knows what they're talking about." He puts on his jacket as Dr. Hughes says they're still learning so much about spinal cord injuries. Kevin: "Yeah, well, I want someone who knows more than you." Dr. Hughes offers to send Kevin's records to a Dr. Martin Jacobson who's head of neurology at Arcadia General. Kevin wheels out, saying he'll find his own guy.