Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Musical, Almost
By Gwen | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.21.2000
At the bar Elaine sings another song, this time in a completely different outfit. "Georgia's actually gonna sing?" asks Richard. Ling says she's only doing background and her mike's turned all the way down. Blissfully ignorant Georgia smiles from the stage. Redhead shows up with Nelle in tow. Nelle apologizes to John in front of everyone and slams down a couple of drinks. She begs for her job back. "I'm not gonna cry," she says. Renee and Elaine sing, "Take me back! Baby, please take me back!" Georgia lip-syncs along, trying to horn in on Elaine's mike. Elaine shoves her away. Richard doesn't want to take Nelle back. Redhead tells him, "Do it for me." Richard says it's time Redhead did something for him. He doesn't mean sex, either. He wants her to perform. She says she likes performing. Great. She'd better be able to sing, dammit.
Ally's dad follows her into the Unisex. Ally remarks on the multitude of visits from him and her mom. He wrote her a song. She doesn't need a song, she needed him to be nice to Brian. We get the same old dialogue about George raising Ally to believe her dreams could be true. Then Ally excuses herself to go to John's party. She finishes with, "I think I love him, Daddy. But I'm unable to share that with you." George is left sad in the Unisex. That's probably a metaphor for something ridiculous. I'm too tired to figure it out, though.
Down at the party, Ally bitches about her dad to Brian. He says some crap about his dad betraying him by turning out not to be perfect. Ally quickly turns the subject back to her problems. Richard toasts John and then asks the firm to re-welcome Nelle. Nelle is smashed. She gets up to make a speech but passes out instead. Then it's time for a special performance just for John. It's the Redhead Navel Girl singing that "spank me" song made popular by Madonna in the Dick Tracy cinematic crapfest. Richard hands John a hairbrush. Red struts down to their table. She grabs Nelle by the hair and then lets her head fall back to the table. I start to get a hard-on but then I realize that I don't have a penis and this scene isn't for me. Red rotates her butt in John's face. "Unacceptable," says John. Elaine's fangs come out because Red has that Slutty Diva style down. At the end of the song, John touches Red's butt with the brush and everyone cheers. Hip, hip, hurray for misogyny!
Outside the bar, Ally talks about her dad some MORE. Brian consoles her and calls her beautiful. Vonda sings. Brian and Ally stare at each other. "Wow. I have a boyfriend," says Ally. It's been a long time since she's felt this. They kiss. Brian seems pretty cool. He does a good job of pretending that Ally's not a super-annoying skank.