Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Musical, Almost
By Gwen | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.21.2000
THEN...check this out...Nelle sings. "When I was nine years old, my daddy ran away with a woman and man on a train..." Um, okay...At least Nelle's all got her makeup all tarted out, though. Her voice is weak, but she looks sweet. We pan-and-fade over to Renee doing the chorus. "She's got the blues! This girl!" Now it's time for John to sing. "A year ago/ I met a girl/ I thought we hit a massive groove/ But she dumped me/ And all we hit was the bloooo-ooo-ooo-oooos! I've got the blues!" I totally take back what I said about John being an okay singer. He sucks. Stand up, take a deep breath, and sing it from your chest, John. Or, better yet, just shut up. The rotating, fading camera takes in John, Nelle, and Renee singing about having the blues. Then we see them in three-way split screen. It's really incredibly stupid.
Ally, Brian and her parents have dinner at a table with the same little lamp that's on all the restaurant tables on this show. I'm not even going to get into the inane conversation going on with these four. Suffice it to say that George, Ally's dad, is pissed that his precious Electra found herself a man. I say: too bad he didn't get to have dinner with that homeless guy Ally was dating. Ally's nervousness causes her to laugh like a hyena. Either that or she's on speed. Well, maybe it's both. Brian tries to joke around and play it all off. Ally does her patented spit take, spitting a hunk of food onto her dad's forehead. Yeah, that's freaking hilarious. Now I understand why the critics love this show. It's the tight blouses, right? Ally hears Gloria Gaynor, then hallucinates the waiter serenading her. Then she hallucinates the Brian and her parents are singing in crappy almost-harmony. Then Young Ally appears and sings to her dad. Then all the patrons in the whole place sing. Ally gets up and runs off. I don't even have any more commentary regarding her obvious insanity. This season has sucked it all out of me.
The commercial for that Rocky and Bullwinkle movie comes on, and you can tell it totally sucks, just like its predecessor, Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I'm glad to see it, though, because they're playing that song "Dreamer" by Supertramp and I'd much rather hear that than any more songs by the cast of Ally McBeal.
The next day in Ally's office, her dad acts like he wasn't purposely rude to Brian. Ally asks why he didn't attend Billy's funeral. I wonder why her parents are in this episode. I thought they were splitting up. We see them on Thanksgiving, and then now. I thought Ally's daddy issues were all squared away. Even if they aren't, the season finale is hardly the time to resurrect them. But whatever. Ally's bangs are shorter now, but they still look like hell. She stomps out of her office, leaving her father to stand and stare.