Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Lonely Planet Hollywood
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.28.2004
The women head into Planet Hollywood a bit later, where they are introduced to the layout of the restaurant and bar. They split up, and Ereka, Kristi, and Amy meet with the general manager, who tells them that only one-fourth of the sales at the restaurant is liquor. Kristi is intrigued by this, because liquor has a huge profit margin. This is why I only buy tequila by the tanker truck, by the way. Elsewhere, Jessie, Katrina, and Heidi are discussing the issue of people not coming in off the street. Heidi brilliantly notes that there are a lot of people on the street in Times Square, and she surmises that the best idea would be to get them to come off the street and into the restaurant. She is really smart. Heidi goes on to say that because the restaurant sells food and also merchandise, her idea for a strategy is to take the people who are out on the street and bring them into the restaurant, where she hopes that they will spend money on food and merchandise. See? I told you she was smart. Underestimate her at your peril, people. A camera guy who needs a girlfriend manages a direct-on shot of Katrina's boobs as the women walk into the restaurant. Hey, back off, camera guy.
I want to point out, by the way, that the women are dressed far more normally this week than they have been in the past. They actually seem to be getting the notion that it's not a good idea to dress for a cocktail party when you're supposed to be working. Aside from Heidi, who is still attempting to provide an easy sight line down her shirt, the rest of them are relatively appropriately attired for the task, which is kind of remarkable. So one point for them for that.
Kristi comes up with their concept for selling drinks, which is "Meet the Planet Hollywood Shooter Girls." It's a great strategy, provided that you assume a male universe, which they do, as usual. And also as long as you convince yourself that Planet Hollywood is a promising location in which to employ pseudo-celebrity gimmicks, because hey, that's probably something they haven't tried.
As if you didn't have enough reasons to hate Heidi yet, the next thing we see is her dancing back and forth with shirts in her hands, sing-songing, "Eeextra-smaa-aaall!" Jesus. I feel like I should constantly apologize to Elizabeth Cady Stanton for Heidi's existence. And to Darwin, too. Hey, even natural selection is going to let a few stragglers through. Katrina interviews that they modeled the idea of the "Shooter Girls" after Hooters. Yes, Katrina. I got that. Not all of us have our mental motors on "idle." Isn't it life-affirming to see a woman who claims to be in the top 3% of real estate agents in the country expressing pride at being promoted to Hooters waitress? Oh, I'm sorry -- knockoff Hooters waitress. The next time we see them, the women of Protégé are all showing their belly buttons and stuff again, so they're much more comfortable. Dressing professionally is for ugly girls, you know. If you don't wear thigh-high boots and fishnets to the office, it's only because you don't have the calves for it.