Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Thrilling Bureaucratic Intrigue!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.02.2006
At the Henderson Hideout, Henderson checks his gun and announces that Evelyn will be leaving Not Camp David in a few minutes, and that it's time to get going. Which is weird, because they'll all still be there thirty minutes from now. "What about the girl?" asks one of the gunmen. Looking like he'd really not have to think about this, Henderson says, "I'll take care of her." And the camera pans over to a dark-haired girl, presumably Evelyn's daughter Amy, who's just sitting there nervously. It's 10:24:47. This makes it look like she's going to get tragically killed during the commercial, but don't worry, she doesn't. Go ahead and buy things.
10:29:12. Evelyn gets to her car and calls Wayne on her cell phone, saying there's no one around. Wayne says he's on his way and hangs up. Evelyn starts to unlock her car. I notice that there's frost on the car next to hers, which, combined with Aaron's visible breath earlier, tells me it's chilly outside. In case you care.
Aaron and Wayne are walking through the corridors of Not Camp David. Wayne's wounded left hand is wrapped up in a white bandage. Aaron's whining about Wayne and Evelyn leaving without protection, even though they all know Aaron can't leave again without arousing suspicion. Just then the Vice President pops into view around a corner in front of them, saying, "Wayne! This is a surprise. We didn't know you were coming." Liar. The Veep personally cleared Wayne's passage through the checkpoint on the way to Not Camp David less than two hours hour ago. The only reason he would be surprised to see him now is if he never expected Wayne to make it through alive. Or that's what the writers want us to think. Yes, we're at that point in the season. It comes every year, you know. Wayne, unaware that the Veep had anything to do with authorizing his clearance, hides his wounded hand behind his back. "Are you here to see the President?" the Veep asks. Wayne simply says, "No," shaking his head and refusing to elaborate, his eyes saying Kill you!. Smooth, that. Aaron steps into the awkward silence, saying that Wayne came to give Aaron a memento from David. "It's a service medal," he explains. Wayne finally decides to play along, saying he knew that the Veep and the Prez would have their hands full dealing with the crisis, and he didn't want to impose. The Veep says, "Your brother was one of the greatest men to ever occupy the office," laying it on thick with the condolences. Wayne thanks him, and the Veep says that Logan would also want to express his sympathies, but Wayne says he's got a plane to catch. "I'm flying David's body back to Washington," he excuses. The Veep says he understands, and wishes Wayne a safe trip, shaking Wayne's good hand. Aaron leads Wayne out so he can shake him down for that service medal. The Veep is left looking after them suspiciously at 10:31:05.
The blonde chick from Homeland Security is typing away on Chloe's keyboard, much to Chloe's dismay. I'm surprised Chloe's not spewing a bunch of condescending technobabble at her replacement about how much she sucks. Instead, she spots Buchanan across the floor and heads over to him, ignoring Blondie's protests that they aren't finished. She asks Buchanan what's going on, and he promises, "This is not over. Just follow your instructions." He promises that he's going to get the order rescinded, and that the best thing Chloe can do now is "stay focused and follow your orders." That's our Buchanan: drop your pants, bend over, and await your inevitable vindication. He puts a comforting hand on her shoulder, and Chloe manages not to accuse him of sexual harassment. Slime happens by to interrupt the tender moment, telling Chloe not to transfer her station over to Blondie yet. "You got a pass," he grumbles. Chloe's surprised, and Slime can't even give good news pleasantly as he snaps, "Get back to work." Chloe's still chonfused, so Slime says Audrey demanded that Chloe be kept on. Buchanan asks what Audrey has to do with it, so of course Slime gleefully explains that Audrey signed a statement outlining all the shit Buchanan did wrong. Buchanan looks thrown by that as Slime adds, "So for the moment, she gets what she wants and she wants O'Brian." Chlaudrey shippers rejoice! Buchanan's in denial, until Audrey appears behind him saying, "I did sign it, Bill." Buchanan is shocked and betrayed, saying any chances of rescinding the order are now shot to hell. And Audrey acts all tenfold cold as she says she's sorry. Who knew Audrey was as good an actor as Kim Raver is? She walks away, Chloe staring after her in disgust. "O'Brian?" Miles smirks, directing her back to her station with a nasty glance.