Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Thrilling Bureaucratic Intrigue!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.02.2006
And because it's been a while since anyone's explained that Evelyn's daughter has been kidnapped, she's telling the whole story to Wayne again as he drives her car through the night. Sure, it's her car, but since there's a guy there to drive, what else are they going to do? I can only assume he refrained from telling her how he hurt his hand in the first place. Wayne tries again to get her to spill what she knows in case something goes wrong, but she's still adamant that she's not saying anything until her daughter is safe. Wayne changes the subject to the question of why she contacted his brother with her information. Evelyn says she knew him through his friendship with FLOTUS. "He was truly a wonderful man," she manages to say straight-faced. And she must think FLOTUS is truly an asshole. Seriously, instead of telling her boss, the First Lady, she went to Palmer, who went to the First Lady. And then she didn't say a word to anyone when FLOTUS was all nearly crazy with trying to find proof of David trying to warn her about some scary information he'd gotten, which turned out to be FROM EVELYN. Jeez, how long has her kid been kidnapped, anyway? Instead of wondering about any of this, Wayne sadly agrees with her assessment of his brother, and you can see the tears in his eyes even in the dark. Evelyn says she never thought the information would endanger David's life: "I have your brother's blood on my hands and I will never forgive myself." Wayne lets her off the hook on that score. As for the blood of the people who've died since this morning while she kept her mouth shut, that remains to be seen. God, listen to me, going on about this like it's anyone's fault but the writers'. Plan the season in advance, fuckers!
And then her cell phone rings. "It's them," she says. Wayne dials the ringing phone and gets Kiefer, who says, "Patch me in." Wayne hits some buttons and hands the still-ringing phone to Evelyn, saying, "You ready for this?" Evelyn nods and answers, wondering how this guy knows his way around her phone so well. I'm just wondering how he managed to do all that without driving off the road again.
It is indeed Henderson, who wants to know why it took Evelyn so long to answer. Kiefer manages not to crow, "I knew it!" upon hearing his ex-boss's voice. Evelyn claims she was passing through security on the way out of Not Camp David. In the face of this first sign that he should call the whole thing off, he lets it go, asking, "Are you alone?" She lies that she is, and his next question is, "Why was Wayne Palmer at the retreat?" Evelyn plays dumb, but Henderson isn't impressed: "He was there for a reason, and it wasn't to drop off his résumé." Hee. I'd love to see the objective statement at the top of that document: "Presidency-ending former White House Chief of Staff seeks new, high-ranking position in current administration despite not being related to anyone in it. Special skills include burglary and sweet lovin'." Evelyn insists that she knew nothing about Wayne's presence at Not Camp David, and Henderson eventually lets that go, too. Sign number two, right past the boards. "Did you bring what she discussed?" he asks. Evelyn says she did, and asks to talk to Amy. "Very well," Henderson monotones, then walks the three steps over to where Amy's sitting and kindly says, "All right, sweetheart, this is your mommy. Say hello." Aw, what a sweet kidnapping murdering lying bad-husband traitor. Mother and child have a brief but emotional conversation in their separate splitscreen windows, while a third shows us how hearing this is affecting Kiefer. He's not suppressing guffaws, in case you're wondering. He looks like he's remembering when his own eight-year-old daughter was kidnapped, even though she was chronologically in her teens at the time. Evelyn tells her daughter to keep being brave, and they exchange "I love you"s. Henderson takes the phone back from Amy, calling her "sweetheart" again and telling her she did good. He gives Evelyn an address: 4615 Tarpin Street. Evelyn says she's got it, giving Henderson sign number three with her ease in writing down an address despite the fact that she's supposed to be driving. Sign number three passes without comment from Henderson. Meanwhile, Kiefer drops off of the call to dial Audrey at CTU.