Episode Report Card Maggie: D | 398 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Booby traps and ballistics
By Maggie | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2000.11.02
At Epstein Bar, Ben is excitedly telling Felicity that if you view "the history of the world as one hour," human beings have only been around for seven seconds. Felicity says, "I'm so glad you're likin' that class." Ben asks if she wants a refill, and he goes up to get one. Felicity notices a bunch of guys walking in, one of whom is Randy. He sees her and comes over to talk to her. He says that he didn't lose the game to see her topless, and she tells him that she can't remember much. He tries to jog her memory with tales of "dancing in Marcus' room," but the fog doesn't lift for Felicity. She spies Ben making his way back to the table, and she asks Randy to drop the subject. When Ben arrives, she introduces him to Randy as her boyfriend, and then she drops the drink that Ben has just handed her. Randy just stares as they fumble around with the glass, and Felicity says that she knows Randy from epistemology, which produces an even more clueless look on his face. Randy probably thinks that it's a pre-med course. Ben asks how he did on the test that morning. Randy stammers, "It was okay." Randy says he has to get back to his table, and he and Ben both say, "Nice to meet you." After Randy walks away, Felicity tries to regain her composure.
Knoll arrives at the door of his first tech-support customer, and the guy -- who looks like Albert from Little House on the Prairie complete with a bad haircut straight out of the 1800s -- says, "Please tell me you're here to save me from computer hell." Okay, drama queen, much? Knoll sits down at a desk with a tangerine iBook on it and says, "So, you're a composer?" Albert says, "Supposedly, until this thing decided to eat my entire chamber piece, which - hello -- does anybody write chamber music anymore?" Hello, Albert? No one cares about the answer to that question. Albert then busies himself with clearing away books and clothes while Knoll drones, "Well, don't worry, there's no such thing as a truly deleted file, unless you, y'know, reformatted your drive." Albert claims that if Knoll can fix it, he's some kind of a miracle worker, and he picks up his violin and starts to play it. Knoll thinks that Albert and his iBook have picked up a virus. Albert continues to tunelessly torture his instrument while eyeing Knoll intently. He asks Knoll if he used to have blonde streaks in his hair. Knoll mumbles something about trying it out, and Albert gushes that Knoll looks better without them. Knoll discovers that the virus is from spam that the entire college received. He opens the message to find a photo of Felicity and Randy. They're both topless and laughing, and her arm and his ping-pong paddle are strategically covering her breasts. Above the photo is, "WHO KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!!" and below is, "GO, BETA, THETA XI!!!" Albert is disgusted to see such a display on his computer and disses the "stupid fraternity." Knoll catches flies with his wide-open mouth.