Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Club Dead
By Omar G | Season 6 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.21.2007
Scary Luthor Manor, nighttime. Lana is in her room looking at a very unrealistic ultrasound picture that somehow has a flesh-colored 3-D image of her baby. Oy, am I the only person who thinks those 4-D ultrasound pictures are a little too personal? Lana sits in front of a mirror, staring at the image of her little beige space baby. Lex comes in holding two champagne glasses, and suggests that they end the evening with a toast. I hope they got at least one toaster at their wedding. He says it's been one week since their wedding, and offers Lana some baby-safe sparkling cider. He says it's not the same as celebrating on the beach at Boquete. Lana, wearing a very unmaternal black outfit, says that she still doesn't think flying off to a foreign country would be good for the baby. Lex, unconvinced, twitches at the mouth and asks if that's the only reason she gave up a week in paradise. She nervously touches the champagne glass. Lex says that, ever since the wedding, he feels she's been pulling away from him. BOOO-RING! Let's go back to giant thugs beating the shit out of each other! Lana complains that everything happened too quickly. It sure didn't feel that way from this side of the TV. The soft-focus lighting in this scene is a bit much. Even Streisand is like, "You people are too self-conscious." Lana says that she's still trying to catch up, and that she just needs a little time. Lex sighs. He tells her to take as much time as she needs, and threatens that they have the rest of their lives together. Lex tries to kiss Lana, but she gives him the cheek. Dude! It's divorce time. Lex pulls away. Lana fake-smiles at him. Lex says that he feels things will be different once the baby is born. Yeah, you'll be having tons more sex after that. Keep hoping, bald man. Lana doesn't say anything. Lex toasts to their new family. Sans the crispy toast. They clink glasses. Lana drinks first. Lex pauses, and then takes a sip. Very over-the-top strings play. We get it. This is a soap opera. Can we get back to some ultimate fighting?
The way-creepy music continues as we cut to The Talon at daytime, and the American flag posted out front. Smooth transition, there, Smallville. Did you edit that in a cheap blender? Chloe is inside tapping on a leather-covered Dell laptop, which does not seem consistent with her character. Shouldn't she be using an Alienware or Apple laptop? I don't think Chloe would settle for a plain-Jane Inspiron. She prints out a photo from the online snuff video, the one of Kane raising his arm in victory. Clark whooshes into the room, spilling Chloe's coffee. Chloe, annoyed, tells him to slow down, since she doesn't have money to hire a full-time maid. Clark ignores that and asks what she's found out. Chloe says that the login and password Oliver gave Clark are no longer working, and that the fight club promoters must be rotating the passwords. "You have nothing!" Clark snaps. Chloe tells him not to bite her head off. She says she's got something else up her sleeve. I hope it's a piece of Kryptonite for Clark; he's being an asshole. Chloe brightly says that super-sleuthing might be her latent Kryptopower. Clark doesn't respond to her smile. She says that Kane's opponent -- whom she calls a "Billy Idol lookalike" (he's got a tall blond Mohawk, but the resemblance ends there) -- was a patient at Belle Reve. She says that, after he was killed, he was taken back to his padded cell; the orderlies found his body in the morning. Wow, Chloe's got good contacts at Belle Reve. Clark thinks that the person at Belle Reve will lead them to the fight club. Chloe says that she's already on it; Clark's sidekick isn't completely useless. Clark apologizes for snapping earlier, and tells Chloe that her police-department contact in Metropolis helped him to find info on people Kane killed in a crater between Omaha and Metropolis. He hands Chloe a stack of police reports. Chloe says that Kane left the same wound on all the bodies; they're all fighters. Clark says that the tattoo on Kane's arm spells out that he was a warrior enhanced for combat. He says that the guy's been itching for a fight since he got to Earth.