Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Muslim In Need Is A Friend Indeed
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.19.2003
A funked-up guitar plays us into the Opening Credits Timewaster. It's the twins lathering up their hands. Then they rinse in the toilet bowl. Happy runs off to get help, which comes in the form of horrible Asslee. Piss-poor effort, there, Happy -- Lassie would have brought the entire fire department by now, and all you could get is the sister of a semi-famous pop singer. She shows the twins back to the sink and turns it on for them so they can wash their hands properly. You know, maybe if someone in the house would realize that the bathroom sink is about a foot higher than the children who need to use it and get them a stool or something to stand on, they wouldn't have to use the toilet. Hell, the toilet is probably what's kept them from dying of thirst, too. That's right -- the toilet is a better mother than Annie.
Ruthie comes downstairs to exposit that Annie is visiting her dad again. I wonder how many times she'll visit him before she realizes that he died last year. I'm not complaining about her absence, just the rather tacky way this show is using the real-life death of one of its recurring characters as an excuse for Catherine Hicks's absence during what must be one hell of a contract dispute. RevCam asks if Peter will be staying for the dinner that RevCam miraculously learned to cook during his previous week off, at which point Ruthie and Peter have an actual difference of opinion. Ruthie tells Peter to eat dinner with his mom for the first time in weeks, since she must be getting lonely by now. Peter says she's fine. Probably because she's spending her alone time having hot sex with whatever twenty-year-old guy she can get her hands on. As Ruthie rolls her eyes and stomps off to set an extra place at the table for her needy boyfriend, Peter sucks up to RevCam about how inspiring his service was, and how RevCam is "the Gandhi of Glenoak." "Thanks," says RevCam, totally believing this line. Sadly, he does not leave our television screens immediately for India to go make sea salts. Or, even better, take a vow of celibacy that would establish, once and for all, that there will be no new CamKids for me to deal with. RevCam asks what Ruthie and Peter are planning to do for his stupid gimmicky Be Good to People plan. Ruthie says that, although she had some difficulty choosing just one from her incredible wealth of talents, she's decided that she's going to use her talent at making friends to sit with Jill, the new girl in school, at lunch. Um, when did Ruthie get this talent? Last I heard, she and the rest of her horrible family weren't able to make friends. Peter says he hasn't thought of anything, then asks RevCam what he's going to do. RevCam says that his commitment is to help everyone else fulfill their commitments. Peter decides that his previous comparison of RevCam to Gandhi has found a flaw, because Gandhi "got his hands dirty" (which is just a little bit of an understatement), and RevCam sits around and tells people what to do (not an understatement whatsoever). Peter basically tells RevCam not to be a hypocrite and to do what he's telling everyone else to as Ruthie drags him upstairs. RevCam cuts a vegetable and screws up his face because he probably just sliced through his thumb. Silly RevCam -- even Gandhi knew to you're supposed to cut away from your fingers.
Kevin enters the Treehouse of Lurv and is pleased to see Lucy doing some housework. He rewards her wifeyness with three chaste kisses and tells Lucy that he's in a great mood, because he's found the best way to use his special talents and skills for the community. He's going to re-wire some of his circuits and turn himself into a giant wireless modem so everyone in town can enjoy the freedom of internet access wherever and whenever they so desire. He may also have mentioned something about starting a Neighborhood Watch program. Lucy sounds excited about this, until Kevin tells her that he wants to do it with her. Lucy passive-aggressively shows her discontent with this idea by pressing her iron down on a pair of Kevin's pants for a good minute, although, magically, they don't burn. Kevin explains that this will be a great way for them to spend time together. Lucy lies her agreement, which pleases Kevin so much that he gives her a peck on the cheek. Would anyone be disappointed in me if I said that Kevin looks pretty cute in that sweater? I'm so sorry.