Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Con Men And Trotskyites!
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.06.2006
At dinner, Emily actually seems to be on her best behavior. She does chide Luke, in a very friendly way, about not eating very much. "My motto," he says, "is 'everything in moderation.'" Richard says that is a smart way to go: "Very Waldenesque." Luke is insisting that everything at dinner is really good when the maid comes in with Lorelai's third martini. "Helps settle my stomach," she says, to Emily's inquisitive eyes. "Helps counteract the absolutely regrettable shrimp I had for lunch today." She waves her eyebrows at Luke, who gets in on the game. "Yeah," he says, "you mentioned that before. The shrimp did not agree with you." Lorelai nods and gets dramatic. "Might have to turn in early," she says. "Damn that Al!" Hey! Oh, she's talking about Al's Pancake World, where she had the shrimp. "You ate shrimp at a pancake house?" Emily asks, amazed. "Well, of course your stomach's unsettled." Exactly. I am vividly reminded of this one time my husband ate shrimp at a karaoke bar when we were visiting Pamie and Stee and big and unfortunate dramas occurred in his whole GI tract. Let that be a lesson unto you, internet. Don't eat shrimp at a restaurant without, at the very least, a neon shrimp on its sign.
Emily abruptly changes the subject, asking if Luke is living at Lorelai's now. He says that they are just beginning to consolidate things. "Consolidating your assets?" Richard says, importantly. "Tricky business." Emily asks if there's enough room at Lorelai's house for both of them. She tells them that she did some remodeling. "You've updated your coverage, I assume," Richard says. "Small gaps in your insurance coverage can lead to big mistakes. Oh, I could tell you horror stories." So could I, Grandpa. So could I.
Emily throws out the first horrific example of the underinsured: Brian Hunter. "Yes," Richard says, and tells the sad story of Brian Hunter, who owned a home for forty years until his bimbo trophy wife burned it down with a marijuana cigarette. "He couldn't afford to rebuild," Richard says. "Lost his fortune, lost the bimbo." Emily interrupts: "Now he sells sunglasses out of the back of a van in California," she says. "Cheap ones." Richard: "Because he didn't update his coverage." He asks Luke about the coverage on his diner. Lorelai tries to make a joke, saying that if her dad invited them over to talk insurance, she's going to have to insist on seeing the complimentary customer calendar. Luke nervously says that he thinks he's all up-to-date on his coverage. He says that he's known his insurance guy a long time. Richard says that they can't be naïve -- that there are schemers all over the place looking to take advantage. "John Kendall," Emily says. Richard nods. Poor John Kendall wrote a huge check to a fake insurance guy and then suffered earthquake damage for which he was not insured. "Now he's working the gift shop at the Grand Ol' Opry," Richard says. "Horrid music," Emily interjects, causing me to throw my remote in protest. Lorelai and Luke are looking more and more nervous, but the Grandparents go on. Apparently, Luke and Lorelai haven't heard the tragic tale of Hubert Lansing. "Fell prey to a telephone scam running out of Estonia," Richard says, seriously. "Took his life with a track and field starter's pistol." I have to pause here and give props to that line and the superhuman Edward Herrman who delivers it, as he does everything, so brilliantly. "On your mark, get set, die awkwardly," Lorelai cringes, but Richard goes on, saying that it's not funny. He says that both Luke and Lorelai have significant assets and thus are both targets. "Who in the world would target us?" Lorelai asks. Richard says that grifters and con men are everywhere. "Joe Collins," Emily intones, and Lorelai has to interrupt. "Oh my God," she says. "You two have more stories than Somerset Maugham!"