Episode Report Card 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Nymrods Just Want Demian Dead
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.19.2003
Later -- much, much later, as it's now evening -- Piper and Raige hide behind the pillars of that municipal façade, waiting for the Nymrods to reappear. The two bitch and snipe at each other for far too long before the fountain finally erupts, heralding the Nymrods' arrival. Watery lesbionics ensue as the Mansons titter and splash and give each other sponge baths and their gauzy costumes cling to their moist, nubile bodies while Brad Kern plays pocket pool in the editing bay until the pre-credits dark demonic force smears in and fries the "redhead" dead. I [heart] the pre-credits dark demonic force so much for this, I'll start referring to him by his proper name, which is Xavier. xXxXxX?v¥XxXxXx M¥ B?Bi33333!!!!!!!111!!! XXxXxXavYXxXxXx MY BaB133333!!!!!!!!111!!! X@VY + M3 = 43vaH! MW@H!
I've got to stop watching TV written and produced by and for drooling special-needs adolescents.
Piper darts out from her hiding place to deploy the Hands Of Discontent. For a reason that is never explained, the Hands manage to vanquish nothing more than my husband's right arm. My poor baby drops to his knees in agony as the remaining Nymrods scamper over to Piper and Raige. Xavy, battered but not beaten, unleashes another jet of fire from his left hand. By the time it reaches the group, Raige has orbed them all into the commercial break. Dammit!
You know, despite the staggering amounts of ass this show's been sucking lately, I can still take comfort in the fact that I'm not recapping 7th Heaven. Yeesh.
Manor. The Subplots Of My Despair collide on the sun porch, with Nymrods Just Want Demian Dead battling The Raiging Of The Shrew for supremacy. Let the bitchery and hijinks commence! We also get nymph backstory, which I think you already know, but what the hell: Nymphs protect nature, they always need a man around, they don't worry about death because it's a part of the cycle of life, and they always come in threes, so these two need to find a replacement for their barbecued third, and fast. Next!
Phoebe returns to the Manor, toting a cut-glass vase heavy with long-stemmed red roses. From Chronic, of course, because it's always appropriate to send red roses after you've spent the night schtupping a menstruating employee in bout after bout of sleazy hotel sex. No, I can't believe I went there, either, and yes, I want to die. Moving on. The Feebs gets the unnecessarily bitchy skinny on recent events from Piper and Raige as the Dolt wrestles with Anorexia and Bulimia on the sun porch. After a bit of this, The Doltine Cracker wails from above. The Dolt dolts off to tend to the infant, leaving the Nymrods in the Glamorous Ladies' care. Anorexia and Bulimia sense the tension in the air, decide Raige needs an injection of flair in her life, and proceed to invade her personal space. We've seen demonic versions of this storyline at least three times in the past, right? So we all know where this is going? Good. Piper heads off to the attic for another round of Book abuse. Bulimia leers at Raige. Scene.