Episode Report Card Sobell: B | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Well, now you've done it, T-Bag
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 11.20.2005
And in another cell, Abruzzi's having a full-on spiritual epiphany, asking the prison chaplain, "What does it mean? Am I chosen?" The pastor posits that the Lord appears when you're in particular need of forgiveness. Abruzzi suddenly recalls a rich and varied history of unforgivable acts against his fellow man. He breaks down as the chaplain urges, "It's never too late. If you agree to accept Christ into your heart and turn from your sin, he will forgive you and save you in eternity." Abruzzi has himself a bona fide conversion. The padre has himself a head-scratcher, given that what he sees of the stain is a few rusty streaks.
Sucre's catching C-Note up to date on what Michael's been up to at night. C-Note is pleased to learn that from Michael's cell, anyone can slither through assorted pipes into St. Louis.
Out in the yard, CO Stickyfingers is carping to Bellick about how Tweener had the effrontery to steal the watch he himself had stolen from Scofield. The name Scofield sets Bellick off like a hound on the scent.
In another part of the yard, Westmoreland keeps an eye out while Michael revisits the big yellow pipe and sets the faucet a-twirl. Clear, clean water immediately begins flooding into the chamber below. Good thing Michael's homemade plug is in there to block any grates! And good thing he already turned on the pipe at the bottom too, huh?
While Michael and Westmoreland have been doing PI, Abruzzi and his magic stain have been conducting a Bible study. Abruzzi is particularly struck by the phrase, "He shall hear my voice," which he repeats just enough for it to get really annoying. Then he closes his Bible, and we see that he hasn't been reading Isaiah 2:4 ("They shall beat their swords into plowshares…"). Let's hope Abruzzi doesn't make any hair-splitting arguments about the Bible never explicitly mentioning shivs and shanks.
Outside, T-Bag's no-good, horrible, very bad day is continuing as three prisoners ambush him and bring him down with a minimum of fuss on their part. As you can imagine, he's fussing considerably. T-Bag is carried into the shop, the door of which is quickly closed.
Commercials. I cannot imagine any incentive that would get me out of bed early enough to make it into a Wal-Mart at 5 AM. Not even George Clooney offering me a sack of lead hamburgers with which to beat the Burger King could do it. Speaking of which...this marks the third King-free week of ads. I win! I win! I win!
When we get back, Sucre's busy composing a list of boys' names -- Oscar, Carlos, Alejandro. Michael nervously asks what Sucre's doing, and Sucre snarls, "Nothing." It's so sad when cellies stop communicating. Michael begins setting up the cell so he can duck out, and Sucre testily asks exactly when they're getting out. Michael's baffled. He replies, "As soon as possible." Sucre snaps, "As soon as possible's not a specific time! You tell Abruzzi the time?" Michael impatiently replies, "Yes, because he needs to know." Sucre wants to know, "Why does he need to know and I don't?" "Because he's arranging the plane. Why the sudden curiosity?" Michael asks heatedly. And none too quietly -- that's not smart. Sucre has no good reply. Michael calms down a little and asks, "Why would you want to be responsible for potentially dangerous information? The less you know, the better. It's for your own good." Sucre simmers in some of that mistrust marinade C-Note poured all over him earlier. Michael says he'll meet Sucre in PI. Sucre's all huffy. He turns back to his list so he can make a big point of not writing "Miguel" all over it.
As if this show's commercials weren't enough to turn me off fast food for life, this episode now wants to finish the work that the Burger King and Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation started. That's right: we get to see Bellick cramming his moon face with greasy food and spraying some in Tweener's general direction as he wheedles the young man into becoming a rat. Tweener, it should be noted, sells out for a cheeseburger, which makes him a remarkably cheap little bitch. God only knows what abominations he'd commit for a Whopper. I pray we never find out.