Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Operation: Betty Sexification!
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.19.2009
Amanda recommends using all six senses: sound, smell, taste, touch, sight and style. Marc has no time for Betty's quibbling about whether style is a sense, and it's time for Sound! Well, that just involves an iPod, some weird music, and Marc and Amanda bopping up and down. Next up is Smell, in the form of a perfume that makes Betty sneeze. For Taste, Marc demonstrates how to wrap your lips around a straw to "show him your lips are available and open for business." Betty looks terrified. Marc counsels Betty to eat slowly and seductively as Amanda delicately takes a fingertip's worth of frosting off a cupcake. Then she jams the whole thing in her mouth. Have you noticed how the character with the running gag about eating everything in sight is the skinny one? That's kind of different. For Touch, Marc waves a purple feather at Betty and encourages her to "ignite his pleasure center with a soft graze." Amanda blows in Betty's ear for no apparent reason. Sight and Style break down to the Art of the Seductive Hair-Flip, which Amanda and Marc (in a blond wig) demonstrate at length. They just stand there flipping their hair back and forth saying "Flip! Flip! Flip!" over and over again. You just know this happens at this apartment every night, regardless of Betty's presence. Which is why I want to see more of this apartment! Finally, Amanda hands Betty a ladle, saying she'll know what to do with it when the time is right. Sounds like that ice cream scoop thing in Stripes. With one final "Betty Suarez is getting some strange tonight!" they leave.
Wilhelmina is in bed when she hears some growls from somewhere. She stands up and grabs a baseball bat from under her bed. I don't know if that's a good place to keep it; won't it just make it easier for the monsters that live down there? She creeps out to the living room and brandishes it. There's a guy reaching under her couch! And he's got... a pacifier? Oh, it's her new night nanny, James. He was reading Goldilocks to William (hey! He knows the baby's name!) and got carried away with the noises. He is a handsome black man. I only mention that because it sets up a really funny line by Wilhelmina in a few scenes. She leaves the nanny, but does take a few looks at his butt on the way out.
Archie and Hilda are at a place called La Nueva, and Archie won't shut up about how pretty Hilda is. She pats his hand and is about to tell him how nice a guy he is, when a blonde version of Hilda shows up. She's Felissa, and she used to be Archie's girlfriend.