Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 234 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT The Grass Is Always Greener
By Couch Baron | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2013.04.21
So it's time for the dinner Don's been dreading, and we're meeting Mel, who as I mentioned in the recap is being played by Ted McGinley, and as ubiquitous as he seems, I was rather surprised in checking his credits to realize I personally haven't seen him on TV since Married With Children. That could, of course, be indicative of the fact that he has a reputation of cursing shows, but this program at least has a set end date already. Mel talks a bit about the war in relation to the television business, speculating that "the sponsors" are for the war, and they don't want to have any dissent, which he sees as censorship. He asks for Don's opinion as a writer, but Don tells him that while he's also against the war personally, "when you buy a commercial, you're hoping that the consumer is in a good mood when they hear your message." I'll spare you a hacky joke about antidepressant ads in favor of letting Don go on that when an advertiser pays for a spot on an ostensibly wholesome program only to have it turn into satire -- "the most threatening humor there is" -- they become worried that people will hate what they're selling. In response, Mel looks at Don like he's a particularly succulent piece of beef -- again, make your own fun here -- before wondering aloud how Megan found him and adding that he could cast him right now.
Megan then remarks to Mel that he doesn't have to worry about censorship because the show is so tame, and it's a tenuous enough conversational bridge without her almost literally exchanging wink-winks with Arlene, so I'm kind of amused when Mel blows up her spot by saying it actually does have to be "a little titillating" and that they have their own standards. Megan's like, but things are TASTEFUL on the show, right, and if she's not actually kicking him under the table, I'm missing a bet. In fact, if he misinterpreted the gesture, it would explain where the scene ends up going.
Speaking of which, Mel offers to get the check so they can all go back to his and Arlene's "pad" and smoke some "grass" and "see what happens." Megan naively agrees, but Don's subliminal detectors are on high as he tells Megan it's late while fixing her with a look that's trying to convey a visceral need to escape before it's too late. Arlene, her smile growing more lascivious by the moment, tells them that if they don't smoke "grass," (of all antiquated words of this era, that one just feels the most dated to me) it's cool, as it's not all they had in mind. Don tells her he's not sure he understands, and I think at this point he just wants them to say it so he won't have to explain it to Megan later, so Arlene puts her hand on Megan's and tells Don they like Megan, and they like him. "And we'd like to be friends." Mel tells them that this could be a "chemistry experiment," and just to be clear, I think they're talking full-on four-way rather than mere spouse-swapping, or at least a girl-girl show while the dudes watch. I believe in accurate reporting, even though with Don involved there's a better chance of ball-less octogenarian Bertram enlisting in the Army than this little love square coming to pass. Arlene and Mel push the idea for a bit, which I guess you have to if you want any takers, but Megan and Don hold fast to their frozen smiles and claims of having to get up really early, so Mel smiles to Arlene that they've heard "no" before, adding that there's no reason to skip dessert. I'm guessing Don and Megan will eat it faster than anything in their lives if the shock wears off enough to allow them to order.