Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Away We Go
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 06.22.2009
Nancy, in an adorable shapeless hat -- thin fabric, like the storytelling hat at the beginning of Labyrinth but not stripey, because Nancy only wears green and grey when it's like this -- that once again proves she can wear anything, has a new plan: take Jill to the airport, find Silas, and take her men somewhere safe that she hasn't thought of yet. "This is why you should have stayed with her," she hisses at Shane, who laughs. "At least with you I'll go quick. With her it's a slow death." Jill and Andy come moseying along and Jill admits her return flight was two hours ago.
Jill ignores Nancy flipping out about everything and just wants to fuck Andy more. Nancy's like, "The fuck with these women?" but Andy explains that he does "great and careful work" with the ladies. "Please get in the fucking car," she says like a hundred times, and when she gets out of the Prius she's pissed enough that it scares Andy, and he does a squirrely dance into the backseat.
Jill finally grasps that there's something beyond Nancy Drama happening here, and asks her for the story, no bullshit included. "What's going on is, I have fucked up my entire life. In ways you cannot even imagine. And I don't think I can get out of it this time." Jill asks what she's supposed to do with that little bombload, and Nancy tells her to board a plane and be grateful she's not Nancy. "Sorry," Jill says, "But I would fucking love to be you." (I so wish Nancy were applying eyeliner right now.) Andy gets out to try some kind of skeevy calming-the-ladies crap, and they both yell at him to get back in the car.
And then it... Starts. And it's not about Sucio, or Esteban, or anything but the fight they've never had. Nancy took off, and left Jill holding the bag. Nancy gives herself a pass for this because she was younger, but that's bullshit: Jill was only a year and a half older, that doesn't count. Nancy shakes her head: she just couldn't handle it, okay? "Guess fucking what! Neither could I!" What are they talking about? What did they share? How does this show work? What made Nancy so good at running and so bad at staying put? "What do you want me to say?"
"How about, 'Thank you for staying in the hospital with Mom, Jill. And doing it all over again with Dad, Jill, and for making funeral arrangements for both of them.' And, 'I'm sorry Jill, by the way, that I couldn't be there to help. I was off playing ballerina and getting laid while you were wiping shit and writing DNR orders.'"