Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Look Who's Barking
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.09.2001
Crypt. Phoebe warns Cole to stay away from her. Back and forth blithering of the failed reconciliation sort. Cole eventually gets around to telling Phoebe about Ian’s evil spell -- you know, the one that made Cole fry Jenna the witch. Phoebe suspiciously wonders why Ian would do such a thing. Cole finally gets around to telling her about Ian’s larger plan -- you know, the one that involved getting Phoebe to hate Cole so he’d return to the Boys of Bi Krap a whole new demon. Phoebe’s at a loss for words. So am I. This all could have been resolved last week if he’d told her then. Cole tells Phoebe she needn’t try. He did what he did. That, they can never change. Nor can they alter their love for each other. “It’s a pain we’ll both have to live with,” he states gently, stroking her cheek. Phoebe’s about to cry. Cole turns away from her and squiggles out. Phoebe glances around, blinking back glycerin. I mean, “tears.” On the lawn, the Dolt has picked up Phoebe’s aura. Or essence. Or scent. Whatever. Piper instructs him to orb to her location and escort her back to the manor. Prue’s been rabidly scratching her scalp during this exchange. In an unusual special-effects screw-up, she stops scratching with her arm in a painfully unnatural position while the Dolt disappears. They’re usually better about those things. Anyway, Prue whines about her life as a dog. She hated urinating on trees, she ate garbage, and now she has fleas. Piper makes a painful unfunny with “Musta been rough. No pun intended.” Yeah. Shut up. Prue reveals the bright side to the experience: she met a cute guy. Piper can’t believe it. “You met a guy?” “Yep.” “While you were a dog? “Uh-huh.” “How?” “He ran me over,” Prue grins casually. Heh.
A yodeling ovary accompanies us on a nighttime tour of the skyscrapers of San Francisco. Eventually, the camera pans down to the entrance canopy of P3 After Dark. You think they invited Inspector Nat over for a beer? Nah. Neither do I. Weekly Summation Time. Phoebe suggests that Piper “raise the drink prices” now that they’ve received the latest bill for manor repairs. Shout-out? You decide. Piper notices Prue glancing around the room. “Are you expecting someone?” “A certain journalist with an empty fridge and a soft spot for man’s best friend,” Prue allows. No comment from me as Prue spins around to greet the freshly-arrived dog fucker. Oops. I mean, "Matt." The pair disappears to the dance floor as Piper beams in approval. Phoebe takes this opportunity to thank Piper for calling upon Cole. “If you hadn’t,” she notes, “I might still be screamink.” Yes, the Lizbot’s speech impediment has infected the cast of Charmed. Piper makes with the “aw, shucks” for a bit; then she reveals that her Lesson Of The Week has been learned. She should trust both her instincts and herself, for she is as powerful as her sisters. Speaking of instincts, Phoebe’s decided to go with hers and give the Colethazor another chance. Piper looks doubtful. Phoebe’s insistent. Cole confessed that he still loves her, therefore “there’s still good in him.” “I can bring him back,” she perks oh-so-codependently. “I know I can.” Phoebe smirks, then makes her exit. Piper turns to head back to the register. For some reason, her expression is one of sadness, doubt, suspicion, and apprehension. But that could just be me.