Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Look Who's Barking
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.09.2001
Home For Wayward Burt Reynolds Protégés. L.B. Prue awakes on a sofa. We shift to the black-and-white MalamuteCam as L.B. Prue examines her surroundings. Matt’s on the phone in the background, canceling his plans for the evening because “the vet said someone should keep an eye on the dog.” The MalamuteCam captures Matty blowing the dust off a camera lens before continuing, “Hey, I gotta soft spot for animals.” Like you don’t even know yet, Matty boy. L.B. Prue processes the camera, gets a good look at Matty, and hears he’s a journalist of some sort. The Pruevert within attacks. L.B. Prue pants and grunts and playfully rolls around on the couch. Damn. Someone get a bucket of cold water to throw on her. Matty notices that the dog has risen, and hangs up the phone. He joins L.B. Prue on the couch and commences with the heavy petting. L.B. Prue approves. Yikes.
Abrupt cut to a darkened parking lot. The FeebShee creeps out from behind a car, stalking a lone Latina. Dogs howl and bark and bay in the background. The Lone Latina senses something wrong, pauses long enough to pull her keys from her purse, then double-times it over to her car. The FeebShee lurks in the shadows. The Lone Latina rounds a corner, catches sight of a not-unattractive gentleman leaning against a car, and sighs in relief. “Oh, Ramon!” “Ramon”? Well, I suppose it’s better than “Jesus.” The Loving Latinos embrace. The FeebShee, thwarted and starving for some human suffering, slinks behind a wall and wails.
Home For Wayward Burt Reynolds Protégés. Matty’s feeding the dog some beer. Just like a guy to get a dog all liquored up so she’ll put out. And on the first date, even. Tramps. L.B. Prue interrupts the interspecies canoodling to bark at the door. Matty tells her to pipe down before she upsets his neighbors. She insists on being let out. He caves. She runs out the second the door is opened. Looks like Matty won’t be getting any this evening. He grabs what appears to be a leash to chase after his fickle mistress. So that’s how it is with you, huh, Matty? Kink. Kay.
Cut to the manor. Piper and the Dolt clomp down the stairs. The two bicker about Piper’s cunning instinctual plan, which involves summoning the Colethazor. The Dolt doesn’t find this the best of ideas. Piper disagrees. As the Colethazor is the source of Phoebe’s pain, if they enlist his aid and he somehow removes that pain, Banshee’s curse will be lifted. The Dolt wonders if the Colethazor will deign to assist them after what they’ve put him through in recent weeks. Piper’s all “there’s only one way to find out.” Clutching a vial of the vanquishing potion as insurance, she recites the summoning spell. Cole appears presently in a column of swirling clouds. “Piper!” he notes with surprise. “You’re not the witch I was expecting.” Piper gives him the brief version of the evening’s events, and asks if he’ll help. Cole doesn’t “do ‘good’ anymore.” “Not even for someone you love?” Piper inquires. The Colethazor corrects her, emphasizing the past tense of that four-letter word. The Dolt’s had enough, but Piper’s not giving up so easily. She continues attempting to persuade Cole. He continues to deflect her arguments with rather sturdy ones of his own. Phoebe gave up on him. Why should he bother saving her from what is essentially herself now? Piper keeps playing the “love” card. Cole keeps telling her to shove it. Piper finally acknowledges that the negotiation is going nowhere. At the urging of the Dolt, she flings the vanquish vial at Cole’s feet. Cole makes “Oh! Oh!” noises before cracking into a grin. “Surprise!” he shouts. “You didn’t really think I’d come here without magical protection, did you?” Piper, aghast, draws away from him as the Dolt threatens. Before the demon and the corpse start clawing at each other’s faces, however, L.B. Prue pads into the manor. Her nails click on the tiled floor. L.B. Prue barks out a warning as Piper greets her. Cole’s incredulous, but before they can fill him in on the details, the glassware in the sun porch vibrates. Cole: “What’s going on?” Piper, in a singsong not unlike the little blonde girl’s in Poltergeist: “Phoebe’s home.” Every piece of glass on the sun porch explodes. Given that it’s a sun porch, that’s a lot of glass. The FeebShee keens her way in through a window and tackles the Colethazor to the carpet. She howls deafeningly directly into his face. Atta girl. I can totally relate to that. He snaps his head back and forth in agony while slowly morphing into Belthazor. Belthazor snatches the FeebShee into an embrace and squiggles out with her. Piper looks lost as the Dolt shoots her an icy look that says, “Well. Any other brilliant ideas?” L.B. Prue whines us into the commercials.