Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Take a Flying Leap
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.08.2005
Kevin corners Simon in the kitchen and asks him how he's doing. Simon doesn't understand why people keep asking him that, because he's stupid and this gives Kevin a chance to exposit Simon's whole STD deal to anyone who missed that episode. We still don't find out which STD, exactly, Simon's afraid he caught. Simon tells Kevin that he didn't see a doctor until yesterday, and he came home to wait for the results. RevCam enters, and Kevin immediately runs away. Like, he actually jumps off his chair and runs away. My 7th Heaven Law of Spatial Relations theory has yet to be disproved. Simon tells RevCam that he's getting the results soon. RevCam doesn't really care about Simon's health, though; he just wants to nag him to stop having unmarried sex, now that he has seen what the risks of it are. Because married people NEVER get STDs. ["He's also seen the risks of married sex, RevCam, namely his siblings, so why don't you a little more parenting and shutting up and a little less telling Simon how to live? I hate this goddamn show." -- Sars] Simon says the only thing he's touched since the STD thing has been his schoolbooks. He's a changed man. I can't really blame him, seeing as during the year he's been sexually active, he's had a pregnancy scare, an STD scare, and dated a bunch of women who look like his mother.
Lucy shows Savannah off to Paris. Lucy's well-informed warning to Paris about not using elevators anywhere near her delivery date seems to have occurred off-camera. Lucy asks Paris what her plans are for after the baby is born and Paris goes back to work. Paris says that she and Vic have worked out a schedule where one of them is always home when the other is at work. She also says that she is the family's primary breadwinner, and I'm shocked that this show could be so progressive so as to suggest that a female can (or should) earn money like that. Surely there will be a demonstration of the error of Paris's ways before the episode's conclusion. Lucy shares that she and Kevin aren't sure what to do when Lucy goes back to work. Paris says that Annie can just take care of Savannah. Savannah registers her displeasure with this by gurgling adorably. Seriously, that baby is so cute. She's the highlight of my 7th Heaven viewing experience. Lucy says she thought Annie could take care of Savannah too, but Kevin says no. Kevin then walks in, and Paris says that must be her "cue to leave." It's science, Paris.
With Paris gone, Kevin and Lucy can now share a scene. Kevin wonders if they can arrange their work schedules like Paris and Vic did. He can work the night shift while Lucy associate-pastors all day. Walking the Promenade beat at night? That's a death sentence, Kevin! Please do it. It would seem that after a week of regular sex with Lucy, Kevin finally came to his senses and realized how much better off he was without it, because that work schedule doesn't allow them to have very much time together. Lucy scoffs that she doesn't see Kevin as a "stay-at-home dad." Except that he wouldn't be, since he'd be working, but whatever, Lucy. Kevin says he could do it, and wants a "trial run" tomorrow so he can show Lucy his mad baby-parenting skillz.