Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Shipwreck!
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.09.2012
Matt: Let's see. I went to a dance and got my hand crushed, found out that I don't have health insurance, so I just need a minute to myself.
Rebekah: I thought maybe I'd buy you an apology drink.
Audience: How about paying his hospital bills, you twit.
Matt: No. Please, just go away.
Rebekah: Aw...
Matt: Seriously, you are fun, and pretty and OF THE DEVIL. GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!
Recapper: That's my boy. That's my good boy.
Damon walks up to Rebekah as Matt walks away. Being Damon, and being drunk, he taunts her about getting rejected by the captain of the football team, then pours them shots, as he welcomes her to adolescence.
Damon: I've had a really rough night. Can I speak my own lines here?
Recapper: Sure thing, Evil Pixie Monster.
Damon: Okay, Beckster says something about how she should have killed Matt, but her mother wouldn't let her. So I'm all: Never let people tell you what to do. Besides, you would have broken him in a second.
Rebekah: Are you suggesting I can't be gentle?
Damon: No, I'm just saying you should find someone a little more durable. That's all.
Rebekah: And who would that be?
Recapper: We cut to Mossy Manse, where Rebekah and Damon have a raunchy-for-network-TV sex scene. The first time I watched it, I was alone. The second time I watched it, I was with my daughter, who is too young to watch this stuff, even if there's no HBO-esque nudity, so I just poked fun at the expression on Rebekah's face, while my daughter wondered if it bothered Nina to see Ian film a scene like this with someone else. The third time I watched it, I was with my husband, who was all, "Our daughter watched this?" The fourth time I watched it -- is now. The scene's charms are now forever lost to me. The fast-motion that happens when vamps get it on, sort of takes me out of the moment. I'll let my friend, Elizabeth, have the final words on that little rendezvous.
Elizabeth: Damon has a very, very specific type, doesn't he? And that type is Stefan's.
Recapper: What? And she's wrong?
Armchair Fandom Psychology: Some polite, articulate, accommodating Damon and Elena shippers talked to me for quite a while, on Friday, about this episode. It seems plenty of Damon and Elena shippers have lost heart. You know what, I don't even want to use the term "shippers" here, because so often, it's used as a way to denigrate fan opinion. And I know I'm guilty of that too (although I am usually trying to laugh with you, not at you). I'm going, instead, with the term E/D fans, which is my shorthand for fans would are interested in seeing Elena and Damon give romance a go. Some E/D fans may well care more about the romance between Damon and Elena, than they do about any other part of the show. Others may just want to enjoy it for a little while, but brace themselves for an eventual breakup. I don't know. I don't care, either, except to say I'd be part of the second group.