Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Shipwreck!
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.09.2012
Back inside the mansion, Rebekah and Kol have a little sibling time. She reveals she's only invited Matt to the ball, so that she can kill him, thereby pissing off Elena. Kol's all up for a little murder, mayhem and disobeying Mummy, so he's all in. I'd been inclined to like you Kol, because you could pass for Elijah's brother, but you just went on The List.
Meanwhile, Elena waits in the mansion study. Damon arrives, saying he got her text and asking what's up. Stefan then Stealth-Salvatores in, and snaps Damon's neck. Elena looks horrified, but when Stefan tells her to hurry, because Damon won't be down for long, she hustles out of the room, pausing at the doorway, only for a moment, to cringe as she looks at Damon's lifeless form, and then to nod at Stefan.
Elijah catches up with Elena as she makes her way to meet Eloise Fricking Hawking. I instantly start shipping them, (er... Elena and Elijah, that is, not Eloise) and decide he must have bought Elena her gown, and compelled a seamstress to fit it to her, because that is so not off-the-rack. Elijah tells Elena it's strange that Esther has forgiven Klaus. He's asking questions he never thought he would ask. He wants to know if he can depend on Elena to report back on her meeting with Mama. Elena assures him she can.
Eloise Fricking Hawking has "spelled" her parlor with sage, so that she and Elena can speak without fear of prying, vamponic ears. Once Mama's-boy Finn leaves them, Eloise gives Elena leave to ask questions.
Elena: I want to know if she's a ghost.
Esther: Not exactly. My witch BFF, Anyana magically preserved my Bonnie. She's Bonnie's ancestor, by the by.
Elena: Oh, I forgot all about Bonnie.
Writers: Us too.
Elena: So, Eloise Fricking Hawking, are you gonna help us kill Klaus, or what?
Esther: Patience, Grasshopper. Right now, I just need your help.
Audience: Run away, Elena. Run away!
Caroline: Outside, I'm admiring the pretty horsey, when Satan Klaus comes out and gets all flirty. I tell him I'm not talking to him, 'til he tells me why he invited me here.
Fandom: *Braces Selves*
Klaus: I fancy you.
Fandom: *FLAIL*
Klaus: You're beautiful. You're strong. You're full of light. I enjoy you.
Caroline: I'm spoken for, by Tyler. All right, I totes ended things with him, because of your freaky sire bond.
Klaus: So, not spoken for? *crickets* Anyhow, did you know horses are the opposite of people -- they're loyal. My father totally killed my favorite horse once. That's the closest he ever got to killing me.