Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sam's Enchanted Leaving
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.20.2004
Team Ereka heads into a store to look for the gold. The guy tells them that the gold will be $400. And see, I'm not sure his price of $400 even fluctuates with the one or two bucks Sam was trying to save, if you see what I mean. I think he might charge $400 if it were $398, you know? Anyway, Heidi insists that while Jewelry Store Guy was "very tough at the beginning," she "saw right through him." The women start begging for ten dollars off. "I like...YOU...and I want this gold Swiss bar from...you," Heidi says pointedly, unaware that she comes off like a complete amateur even when she's trying to play tough-lady. The guy laughs, because...well, as stated, she comes across like a complete moron. ["Also, she thinks she's sexy, but she's actually hatchet-faced, and it's unsettling when she Jessica Wakefields it up like that." -- Wing Chun] Katrina also begs for ten bucks off so that they can go have lunch. The four of them? For ten dollars? Never mind, I'm sure that's adequate -- I forgot whom we were talking about. "Pleeeeeease, Michaaaaaael," Heidi whines in an exaggerated tone, and this is where she starts jumping up and down and begging. Literally. Good Lord. Heidi and Katrina insist that they can tell he wants to say yes, and he says he does want to say yes -- so that they'll leave. Snerk.
Elsewhere, VersaCorp goes to buy their gold. They're quoted the same price -- $400. Bill asks the guy how much he's making on that sale, and the guy tells him he's making five bucks. Bill makes the guy swear to him that that's really, truly all he's making, so there's no room to negotiate. The guy confirms that indeed, it is. Bill can hardly believe it, because that leaves no margin at all, so there's practically nothing for him to do. ["Yep. Move it on to the leg wax, fellas." -- Wing Chun]
Heidi is back at the jewelry counter, and you will be shocked to hear that she is leaning across the counter so that Michael the jeweler can see down her shirt. She and Katrina offer to dance for him, and indeed, they then start wiggling and jumping up and down. In an interview, an unhappy Tammy says she doesn't think any of this routine counts as negotiation. "I think it was just..." and then she says a word that's a little hard to make out. I want to say it's "whorish," but I think it might be "coarse." Finally, Michael gives them their ten dollars off, and Heidi smugly interviews that he took a loss on the deal, but that they made him feel good about it. They jump up and down and dance more. I really, really hate these women intensely. More and more by the week. They get the gold for $390. Sold their dignity for five bucks each. Way to go, ladies, don't spend it all in one place.
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