Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sam's Enchanted Leaving
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.20.2004
The hour of 5 PM approaches. Protégé is reunited outside the Trump Tower. The VersaCorp Field Team, meanwhile, is busy buying the cigars, so I guess Sam never did go and take care of that like Bill asked him to. Next thing you know, the guys converge on Trump Tower and everybody winds up inside, with George and Carolyn using calculators to add up how the teams did. Everyone goes into the Boardroom, and soon, Donald arrives. George explains to Donald that the retail price of all the items was $1379.32. The women were able to negotiate a savings of about 22% off the retail price. That's a savings, for you non-math-whizzes, of just over $300. The men, on the other hand, negotiated a savings of about 9%, or a little less than $125. Interesting factoids: the ass-wiggling at the gold counter accounted for about seven-tenths of one percent out of the women's 22% savings, so that was a lot of hooey over, essentially, nothing. ["I'm telling you, the gold was a red herring. Or something. You know what I mean." -- Wing Chun] Amy's handling of the golf club, on the other hand, was enough to account for almost 9% out of the 22%, as well as about two-thirds of the margin between the men and the women.
The women celebrate their victory again, as is now their habit. The men -- especially Sam, look very miserable -- as is now theirs. "I'm starting to think that I may never hire a man again," Donald says. Yes, based on this very scientific situation that is so representative of real life, I would say that's an excellent conclusion. "I'm very disappointed in you guys," Donald says. And now, it's time for the women to be given another rather lame reward, in my opinion. Trump explains how his father used to love to hang out at the Twenty-One Club, and has a table there, and how big a treat that was for him. They're going to have dinner at his father's table at Twenty-One. Eh. Sam puts his head down on the table in despair at missing out on this Trumpalicious reward. Incidentally, Donald throws in, "That's my father, Fred Trump," apparently apropos of nothing, and I would absolutely love to believe that's a tweak of Sam, a shout-out to that totally assy suck-up moment in the premiere when Sam used the name "Fred Trump" to try to make himself sound like Trump's best friend. If Donald did that on purpose, I doff my cap to his mesmerizing coiffure, because that is fuckin' hilarious. If he did it by accident, it makes him less cool, but the universe more spontaneously amusing. It's a tough call which would be a happier thought.
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