Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How Lemon Spent Her Summer
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.05.2011
She heads into the writers' room to find Frank, Lutz, Toofer, and The Other Guy playing a video game. Lemon is disappointed that they have no summer plans. Toofer corrects her that he and "David" Eggers are going to design a new font. Lemon shushes him and asks Frank about his plans with his girlfriend. Frank moans that Lynn wants him to give up video games and grow up -- "How this for growing up? Last night I put milk in my Apple Jacks!" Lemon sees that Frank's avatar died. She gloats that she distracted him, and the game is over. He says, to the contrary, that he shot his bazooka into the ground and killed himself rather than be killed by Toofer. Now he will respawn and start over again. Lemon can't believe they'd kill themselves rather than let someone win. Toofer says they've been at it for 18 hours and no kills have emerged yet. Lutz beams, "I'm wearing a diaper... like a baby would." Or a Nowak.
Lemon says she can't wait to get out of there for three months. She tells them it will be glorious, and we are treated to Lemon's fantasy of her life in the Hamptons. It's like a Nancy Meyers movie, but with more muumuus. As samba-lite music plays, Lemon takes a bite out of a tomato that she grew herself. Ina "Barefoot Contessa" Garten comes over with a tray of bruschetta and invites Lemon to her house for a glass of white wine. Lemon yells skyward, "I'm aliiiiiiive!" then climbs awkwardly over her bush to join Ina. Cut back to reality, where Lemon says the only task she has left is to pay a fine for the hate crime she committed against the tree last week, which the city has deemed Jewish. She drops her payment in the outgoing bin and starts to make a goodbye speech when she notices a peculiar look on Lutz's face. She asks what he's doing and quickly realizes the particular look can be translated to "I'm pooping." He screams, "Don't look at me!" She makes a run for the exit.
Wool Council chairman Eugene Grimby (Victor Garber) welcomes Jenna as the council's newest celebrity face. She tells him it's an honor and mentions that in the past she was the face of Clinique, a French-Canadian anal rejuvenation clinic, as well as the feet of FilthyLittleFeet.com. In light of these prior endorsements, Grimby notes that, with wool being such a wholesome fabric, Jenna's contract will include a morality clause that includes her personal life. He points to a magazine article entitled "Hooray for Hollyweird? Jenna's Four-Legged Love Affair," showing Jenna walking Paul/'Gina like a dog on a pink leash. Grimby worries that Jenna's values don't jive with that of the brand. Jenna assures Grimby that she is in a committed relationship with Paul. He asks if Paul's a cross-dresser. Jenna can barely contain her chortle: "Goodness no! Paul is a gender dysmorphic bigenitalian pansexual." Grimby says perhaps they should take a few days to think things over, but Jenna knows that old line. She insists that Grimby meet Paul to see how "normal" they are. She adds, as a sheep eyes her from the end of the table, "Our relationship is everything that wool is about -- love, warmth, chafed skin." She sings directly to the sheep, "Oh noble sheep, we eat your babies. We use your brain to fight off rabies, but the most beautiful gift you give us is wool." The sheep looks over at Grimby and gives him a silent nod. They set a date for dinner at Jenna and Paul's apartment for the next night. He warns her that it must be a completely normal dinner, "not just for the National Wool Council but also for my wife, whose parents were killed in front of her while an episode of Three's Company was-- you know what? I'll let her tell the story at dinner." He bids Jenna "wool-come" to the NWC.