How Lemon Spent Her Summer


Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How Lemon Spent Her Summer

By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.05.2011

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All Lemon wants is a normal summer, including the great outdoors, shapeless clothing, gardening, and rudimentary Spanish. She rents a house in the Hamptons and immediately gets a new neighbor -- Tracy. So desperate is she to escape this vacation from hell, she disrespects the judge in her hate crime case (turns out the tree she assaulted last week was Jewish) and earns herself three months of community service on a chain gang. And what a glorious time it is!

Jack is down in the dumps since Avery's abduction, so Kenneth befriends him in hope of raising his spirits. Things turn weird somewhere between one of Jonathan's jealous fits and Jack's decision to use Kenneth as an Avery substitute-slash-inside spoon. Wearing Avery's robe the morning after, Kenneth channels Avery to snap Jack back to reality and be a better, stronger father for Liddy.

Jenna becomes the new face of the Wool Council, but WC chairman Eugene Grimby (Victor Garber) doesn't think Jenna is morally upright enough, particularly in regard to her relationship with Paul/'Gina. She invites the Grimbys over for a dinner to prove her wholesomeness and, despite a little person in jester drag showing up and offering to sit on the Grimbys, ultimately convinces Eugene that she's fit to represent wool. This is Jenna, though, so soon enough, she can't take the thought of living a lie. She and 'Gina let their freak flags fly, wool be damned!

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We join Lemon in media res at an appointment with Dr. Spaceman, who says, "All right, now that the popsicle's melted, we've got ourselves a tongue depressor!" Lemon tells him she's been having a problem with cold sores when she gets stressed out. Dr. Spaceman tells her, "That's all right, I get them from prostitutes." Lemon starts to describe her hectic last couple of months at work, with her break-up, and that rascal of a plastic bag that symbolized her death. After he prescribes her "a little R&R -- rum and Ritalin," Lemon says a topical ointment will be fine because she's dealing with the stress by renting a cottage in the Hamptons for the summer. She only wants four things this summer: To be outdoors, wear shapeless clothing, do some mindless activity like gardening, and learn Spanish. Dr. Spacemen says there are four things he wants to do this summer... "but they're roommates, so it's tricky." He gives her a prescription for her cold sores and a blank one for the weekend, then asks why she isn't wearing pants. She tells him the other doctor told her to take them off. He chuckles that there is no other doctor, just his brother Randy, who's going to jail the next day for the rest of his life. He shouts out, "Good one, Randy! Hey, you want to go to Taco Bell for lunch?" Credits.

30 Rock. Lemon enters Jack's office armed with her most condescendingly consolatory voice. He tells her to save her pity over Avery's abduction. She tells him, "I'm tryyyying to, but I'm kind of locked innnnn. The voice is controlling me nooooow. Help meeeee?" Jack says he's been having so much trouble sleeping that he ate an entire carton of foie gras the night before and could barely bring himself to drink his morning shower scotch. He misses the little things about Avery, like how they'd go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and kick hippies' hackysacks into the bushes. Lemon tells him he needs to make an effort to feel normal again -- normal like a woman and a woman getting married and having a child. Jack snaps back to disgust at Lemon's remark, which was exactly the point. As long as he can feel disdain for Lemon and her leftist opinions, he's still the same old Jack. She stokes the fire, calling Bush a war criminal, then grousing, "There's so much texting going on these days, and no communicating!" She puts the icing on the cake by yelling, "Carbon tax!" Jack dismisses her brusquely, and she gives him two thumbs up on the way out.

Downstairs, Lemon wishes Jenna a good summer. Jenna tells her that since her rousing performance at the Wool Bowl (aired on ESPN 34), she's received an offer to be the new celebrity face of wool. Kenneth pops in to congratulate her and relay a Parcell anecdote: "Every year my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas -- we get it Aunt Alice, you're a sheep!" With that, he's gone. Jenna tells Lemon the wool endorsement is so lucrative that she and Paul can "finally buy that time-share in Batostinbas, Amchnam's private sex garden. They have genetically altered men there with minotaur heads that chase you through the brambles!" Lemon gives an eye-rolling okay, then wishes goodbye to the person she realizes is her closest female friend.

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