Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Long Live the Matriarchy
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 08.23.2010
Danielle reminds us that she is the matriarch of her own family. That Jacqueline is certifiable and Joe is a drunk. Also, special message going out to Teresa: Her daughters wore crinoline and lace and the dogs wore leopard print. Oh snap!Danielle returns home and proudly reports that she is in one piece and introduces her bodyguards to her daughters. She then instructs the girls to thank her bodyguards for keeping her safe. She forces Jillian to hug the grown men, which is not at all creepy. Oh, who are we kidding, it was all kinds of creepy! Danielle rejoices in the fact that her interaction with the Manzos is over! It's done! Like a thirteen week-long root canal! Then we get a title card indicating that Christine is in BlackBook Magazine and is still modeling for IMG, while Jillian was forced to perform at a street fair in NYC, which is about one step below a flash mob at a Jersey mall, but far far above a Posche Boutique trunk show at a country club. Danielle currently has a tell-all memoir, a pop song, and a sex tape. So that's what a life of peace and light gets you!
Caroline finally makes her grand entrance into the isolation room at The Brownstone. Everyone stares at her expectantly because they have been trapped in a room for hours and hours, the oxygen is running low, there is no Diet Coke, and the babies are starting to look like pork chops. Caroline gives the two-minute recap: Danielle came with a wall up, so it's all her fault. Caroline tried to get her to lay off Ashley, but Danielle wouldn't hear it, so it's all her fault. Then Caroline had no choice but to call her clown garbage. She then reminds each and everyone there, big and small, boy or girl, blood family or family friend or Ashley, that it is over. If anyone goes back to talk to Danielle, they are on their own. Now she has a date with a bottle of Excedrin and a gallon of Barolo.
Before she can go Ashley thanks her for trying. Then Ashley apologizes to her mom for raising her voice. A title card flashes that Ashley pled guilty to simple assault and paid a $189 fine. Hopefully this will not harm her career in either music management or fashion merchandising. The judge dismissed the harassment charge. Jacqueline is "trying to lose baby weight" and is still friends with Kim G. because she needs some drama and back stabbing in her life. Teresa and Joe are enjoying the success of Teresa's book and still maintain that despite $11 million debt, there home is not in foreclosure. Reality is magic, people. At least, Bravo reality. And then as if anyone cares, they report that Albie graduated from the police academy and still hopes to return to law school. Low achiever Chris still hopes to open a strip club/car wash because he is aiming high and dreaming big. Caroline hoists a stein of wine up to her mouth and toasts to her family.