Episode Report Card Sobell: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sasha's dad -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 01.28.2007
Commercials. That AXE body spray commercial with the waves and waves of women converging on the tool with the aerosol can reminds me of the death-sentence scene in Monty Python's the Meaning of Life.
When we get back, the FBI is still listening intently to Michael. He's saying, "Much blame has been placed on another innocent person -- Dr. Sara Tancredi." Mahone asks impatiently, "Do we know how long the videotape lasts?" Lang tells him, "Twenty-six minutes, beginning to end. It's all online." And man, it's too bad it's not on the Fox website, because that would be an awesome way to extend the show's premise. In any event, Mahone listens as Michael says, "I can't ask you for another chance. I can only hope that by now, you've found your safe haven." Then Michael goes unintelligible as Mahone orders someone to start a transcript, then starts up again at, "I've put you in a place that's every doctor's nightmare." The MCAT exam room, only this time she hasn't studied and she's not wearing any pants? How did Michael do that?
Anyway, Mahone's still telling people to call this and do that, but that grinds to a halt as Michael says, "One man, special agent Alexander Mahone, is responsible for multiple deaths. He murdered not only John Abruzzi and David Apolskis (yo), but also the last fugitive he was assigned to chase, a man named Oscar Shales." Wheeler and Lang's heads swivel over to check out Mahone, who is all, "How's my poker face holding up? It's not at all suspicious that I'm not reacting to this at all, is it?" Mahone eventually makes a bemused face and says, "Guy's nuts." Everyone in the office backs away from him anyway.
Out in Wisconsin, Haywire's delivering beer to the kids. He goes to walk off with his crate, when the girl (Sasha) asks what the wood's for. ["The girl, by the way, is played by Kaley Cuoco, a.k.a. Charmed's very own Retarded Bimbo. Poor Demian got the shakes Monday night and he doesn't even know why." -- Joe R] Haywire replies that he's building a raft, and he'll need more wood before he can make it to Holland. Then he invites the kids to come see his raft. Since these kids have no self-preservation instincts to speak of, they're all for that.
Cut to Sasha asking skeptically, "You're going to try to get from here to Holland in that?" Her boyfriend adds snidely, "Yeah, good luck, Gilligan." He wants to head out and drink beer, but Sasha's intrigued. As Haywire shows her his safety flag (not a euphemism), she asks, "How are you going to know where you're going? Do you have, like, a map or anything?" Sure, he does. Haywire unfurls his purloined painting. Sasha says carefully, "That's your map?" Haywire nods. Sasha tells him, "I really hope you make it. You know, every morning I wake up and wonder what it would be like to just disappear. And you're just going to do it. I think it's great." Haywire is completely at a loss as to how to deal with this display of compassion.