Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 2 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Rachel went to São Paulo and all we got was this lousy episode.
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.06.2005
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Sark's visage appears on the Wall of TVs as Sloane explains that Sark was in the same hotel at the same time as Rachel. Rachel looks like she's just been slapped in the face with a three-day-old seal flipper sandwich. "Who is this guy?" asks Getty. "Kidnapper, extortionist, murderer," says Syd. "The list goes on." All the more reason that Sark should have worn, say, AT LEAST A FAKE MOUSTACHE? Dude's a wanted man and he can't even bother to wear a HAT? Lord. Syd goes on to say that Sark used to be tied to the Covenant and SD-6, but that now he mostly works for himself. "Freelance," says Rachel with tears in her eyes. Syd catches this comment and immediately understands what's going on.
She and Rachel head off to the Random Corner of Embarrassed Confessions so that Rachel can piss and moan about how she had NO idea who Sark was or what he was after and that she will do ANYTHING to set things right again. Syd asks if Sark just used Rachel for information, and Rachel says that there's no way he could have; they were never in her room and he had no access to the transmission. Rachel then mentions the plane ticket she found in the room and tells Syd that Sark's going to the Bahamas.
So, it's off to Nassau and the never-annoying sound of steel drums. Sark exits the Nassau airport and finds Rachel there, waiting for him. "Lydia!" he says, surprised. "How nice," she twits. "You remembered my name." Just then, Syd turns around and walks right to him. "Do you remember me?" "Sydney," Sark purrs in his British accent. He tries to give Syd some lip about arresting him and how he's going to make it difficult for her (dude? She's pregnant; I don't think she's really going to give chase, do you?), but Syd ignores him and gets right to the point, telling him about how her father and Caroline have been abducted by Masari. She wants to know where his base of operations is. Sark's not spilling. Syd says they're not here to arrest him; they're here to hire him. Sark's eyeballs practically fall out of his head. Heh.
Tunisia. Masari makes his way into the small cell where Jack and Caroline are being held. Jack asks why they're being held there, and Masari asks where the video feed they were transmitting was going. Caroline smart-asses that they're tourists and they were just taking holiday photos. Masari doesn't like smartasses, so he grabs her and Jack goes apeshit and some guards hold him back as Masari points a gun at Caroline's left hand. "Where was the transmission going?" he shouts at Jack. "Take me," is all Jack will say. "I'm not easily frightened," grits Caroline. "You should be," says Masari. And then he shoots her in the hand. DAMN. Yeah, that's not gonna be easy to explain to the French hubby, no? Jack does his best to kick some ass, but he's cuffed, so he can't do much damage. Masari states that he's going to shoot her in the right hand too if Jack doesn't speak up about the transmission. The gun's about to get fired for the second time when one of Masari's men saves the day by interrupting and whispering in Masari's ear.
Masari leaves the room and gets on his cell phone. It's Sark, saying that his sources tell him things got complicated in Spain. He's sitting in an Apple Store office, across from his old boss, Arvin Sloane. Heh. These two together just kill me. Masari asks Sark what he knows about Spain, and Sark says he knows everything and that there's an international search underway for the intelligence officers Masari has in his custody. Masari thanks him for the info, and then Sark says that he has a proposition. The agents are worth some serious cash, so he, Sark, would be willing to take them off of Masari's hands. Masari's like, uh, yeah, I can't be bothered with that. I'm just going to kill them and go get a smoothie. Sloane tells Sark to do whatever it takes and Sark gets back on the phone and says, "Benjamin, you have many enemies. Given what I know, I could broker a pretty good deal for myself." "Are you threatening me?" asks Masari. Sark says he's just a businessman, nothing more. Masari says he'll expect him in the next 24 hours at his Tunisian compound.