Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 2 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Rachel went to São Paulo and all we got was this lousy episode.
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.06.2005
After the break, we head right back to São Paulo, as Basarov makes his way down into the hotel lobby. Rachel gets up and goes right over to him and pretends to be a huge fan of his. She asks him to sign his article and hands him a pen. He signs and she runs back to her room to scan the article he just signed. She gets a scan of his thumbprint and runs it through her handy ACME Thumbprint Plasticator, rendering a lovely duplicate of Basarov's thumb in latex. Over in Sark's room, he's ordering a crapload of food from room service. He asks them to get it there in ten minutes and he'll triple the gratuity. I don't think they can rush "pork skewers" without giving someone trichinosis, but whatever.
Basarov's heading into the shower, which is why Rachel and Sark are both on the move. She heads over to Basarov's room and easily unlocks the door. She goes directly to the computer and is about to put the latex thumbprint into play when there's a knock at the door. It's Sark, pretending to be room service. Rachel scoots the hell out of the room and Sark enters in his room service outfit with a laden room service cart. He too goes directly to the computer and sprays Basarov's key card with something. That's when we head out onto the ledge and see just where Rachel's scooted to. She's barely hanging on to the outside of the hotel, trying not to look down. Oh! She just looked down!
Sark easily gains access to Basarov's computer and uploads his own bugging program. He quickly leaves, and somehow, Rachel knows this, and she leaps back into the room just as Basarov's shower turns off. D'oh! Better hurry, Rachel! She gets into the computer, uploads the program, and makes it out of there seconds before Basarov exits the bathroom. Rachel goes back to her room and tries not to vomit all over herself. Way to hold it together, Rachel! I'm so proud of you. Ledge-hanging AND a successful mission? You rock.
Rachel calls Getty and tells him that the mission went fine. "So…what do I do now?" she asks. He tells her to keep her PDA with her and that it'll alert her as soon as Basarov gets the transmission. After that, she just has to send it to Marshall. "Until then," he says, "looks like you have the night off. Just relax." Rachel visibly melts a bit and you can almost SEE the martini being conjured up in her head. The next thing we see is Rachel, sitting alone at the bar downstairs, drinking a gargantuan martini. Yum. Sark enters and sits a few stools down from her. He's all, hey! Lydia! Whassup? She just sexily glares at him and licks the inside of her glass in case any vodka's evaporated there.
The following scene is kind of unnecessary, especially considering that we ALL know how it ends up. Basically, Sark and his bland American accent try to make nice-nice with Rachel, and Rachel and her fleeting British accent try to ignore him while still flirting. I'm still curious as to why Sark, obviously on an assignment, would bother chatting up some random chick at a bar. Is he that hard up for some play? Or has he grown tired of hookers? I just…don't know. So, Sark and Rachel make small talk and he moves down closer to her and she yammers on about her "new job" and how she feels like she's in over her head and he tells her to take some risks and blah blah blah get to the making out already!