Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT After the Glitter Fades
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 09.30.2012
Even Andy Cohen is in disbelief at this point. He asks how all this happened, and Jacqueline basically says that Teresa had been out to expose Kathy and Melissa (mostly Melissa, I'm guessing) from the moment that they came onto the show and wanted to enlist Jacqueline's help in doing so. And what she wanted to expose, of course, was the fact that Melissa was a stripper and, because Kathy is largely too boring to even take down, that she didn't get a designer bag until she was 40 and lived in a busted house. The conversation ends with Jacqueline saying that Teresa is a liar, and sick, and going to hell. I feel like even the devil would be like, "...Ummmm, we're kind of at capacity right now." Because there are three full episodes of reunion to fill, Andy Cohen does not yet drop this subject and instead asks Jacqueline and Teresa if there is any hope for their friendship. I'm going to go ahead and answer that one with a big fat no.
And then it's time to move on to the big ball of sunshine known as Caroline Manzo and her progeny. They went through many struggles this season. Caroline was going through menopause! Lauren was fat! Albie had a controversial girlfriend! After their montage is through, Andy notes that viewers had some strong feelings about Caroline this season. They said that she was a bully, stubborn, and a shit-stirrer. One viewer called her a bitter ginger with a twist of lemon-face, and noted that Lauren was version 2.0. Very astute, viewer! Caroline says that she went to the doctor and was diagnosed as a bitch. She then went to America for a second opinion, and the diagnosis was confirmed. Even Caroline didn't like herself this season. And it turns out that she's not even going through menopause! Wait, but how is that even possible?
In any case, Lauren Manzo gets trotted out to show off her new lap band. I don't know, I think she looks kind of the same. Lauren tells Andy that she was becoming a monster, and it was because she was unhappy with her weight. To make matters worse, as a public figure (kind of) she had to deal with people on Twitter calling her fat and disgusting. That was totally Teresa. Anyway, she decided to get the lap band and has lost 35 pounds so far. She exercises, too, I think just so nobody can say that she doesn't work hard.
Oooh, and then a viewer calls Caroline out on her shit by asking why she said she couldn't relate to Lauren's weight struggle when in fact she was heavy during season one and lost a lot of weight. Caroline says that when she was younger, she was skinny like Melissa, and she didn't gain weight until she was older. She talks about Lauren needing to gain self-confidence and how she, Caroline, would tell her how beautiful and special she was. Andy calls bullshit, noting that she was awfully harsh and direct with Lauren. Caroline does not think that this contributed to Lauren's lack of self-esteem. Plus, Caroline only called Lauren an asshole behind her back. Mother of the year!