Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Held Up
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.09.2005
Curtis and Potato Face enter the briefing room as Driscoll is recapping what we know from the last hour. Potato Face in particular knows it, better than anyone in fact, and she makes a huge show of looking bored and annoyed while Driscoll explains that Potato Face's good friend was kidnapped, about to be killed somewhere to the northeast, apparently saved by Kiefer, and brought to the hospital. If this show ever puts Potato Face out in the field as a secret agent in any capacity whatsoever, I'm officially calling bullshit unless she blows it as badly as she's blowing this. And if she ever turns out to be a mole I'm totally out. Curtis assigns Lispy Skip to satellite surveillance, and Special Agent Breck is supposed to "coordinate with the NSA." Whatever that means. I don't especially like Special Agent Breck, at least not yet, but I do feel kind of bad that she never gets to finish anything before somebody throws some random task at her. And that's the end of the briefing. No wonder Curtis didn't want to wait for Potato Face; these briefings are brief indeed. I've been at meetings where we've waited for latecomers for longer than that entire meeting lasted. Every meeting I've ever been to, in fact. As the meeting breaks up, Driscoll pulls Potato Face aside and expresses her sympathy about Witless. Potato Face manages a suspicious "thanks" and pouts back to her desk. It's 10:07:13.
Driscoll heads right to Special Agent Breck and tells her to monitor Potato Face's system. Yes, even Driscoll picked up on Potato Face's lack of reaction to the news about Witless, which told her that Potato Face has been in touch with Kiefer. Potato Face is the worst spy ever.
Meanwhile, the best spy ever is busy learning the following about the store he's "robbing": that the money in the safe would barely pay for the can of shaving cream he helped himself to earlier, and that the armored car arrives at 12:30 for its pickup. Kiefer looks genuinely dismayed. I guess it's not like CTU is going to be covering his expenses for the day. "Is he going to keep us here for over two hours?" says one of the hostages. "We have to do something to stop him," whispers VVH.
It's 10:08:05 as Poor Man's Robert Davi strides through the TerrorDome, unable to reach VVH on his cell phone. He tells his two henchmen to check with "our people" in the "area" to find out if "anything" has "happened." He meets up with another pair of henchmen outside DaD's cell and tells them to start "booting up the routers without" VVH. DaD takes the opportunity to tell PMRD to let DoDder go. "She has already been useful," PMRD smirks. DaD says he'll do anything they want. "That's why we are keeping her." This pisses DaD off, and he shakes the wires of the cage, shouting, "This is what your religion teaches you?" as PMRD departs without another word. DoDder, her hair in considerable disarray, tells DaD to calm down. Which reminds her: where's his nitroglycerin? I imagine a scene in which Keeler, in honor of the heart medicine bottle that essentially secured his presidency, held a Cabinet meeting in which he passed out a pill to each Secretary, thereby implicating them in his act of blackmail and securing the kind of loyalty that George W. Bush only dreams of. Then I remember that Brother Palmer got the bottle back. And anyway, apparently DaD has a heart condition of his own, and he left his nitroglycerin in the car. DoDder relays this to the guard. The guard isn't impressed. DaD and DoDder exchange a look. It's 10:10:06.