Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Held Up
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.09.2005
I really don't know why Poor Man's Robert Davi didn't order DoDder killed right then and there, aside from the fact that it's too early in the season for her to die. But I appreciate the fact that the writers gave Team DoD something interesting to do besides sit in their cell and wait for the end, so I'll let it slide. Would have been more interesting to have DoDder do some of the shooting, though. I'm sure that PMRD will order the living crap beaten out of both of them, at least.
Back at the Snak-n-Save, Kiefer's quizzing Doug about the procedure for the armored car pickup. Meanwhile, Velveteen-Voiced Hostile decides to be the "hero" of this particular robbery, if one can use that term about a guy who just wants to get out of there so he can go blow up the West Coast or something. He spots some cans of bug spray within arm's reach and palms one just as Kiefer orders everyone to stand up and start moving to the back of the store. As everyone's walking past Kiefer, VVH tries to exterminate Kiefer's eyes, but one of Kiefer's super-secret-agent moves has VVH flat on his back and looking up the barrel of Kiefer's gun before you can say "RAAAAIID!" "You try that again and I will kill you," says Kiefer. Everyone starts moving again.
This is a great time for, say, a police car to pull into the station parking lot, so naturally one does. Kiefer herds everyone except Doug into the walk-in cooler, with dire warnings about what will happen if anyone makes a sound. The sheriff's deputy ambles up to the front door and taps on it when he finds the place closed. "Make him go away," Kiefer tells Doug. Kiefer lurks in a corner while Doug opens the door and fails spectacularly to calm the deputy's suspicions. "I'm not getting held up," Doug might as well say. Finally Kiefer gives up and shows himself (and his weapon), saying, "Don't even think about it" when the cop goes for his own gun. And it's not like Kiefer can identify himself to the cop as a federal agent who's just pretending to rob the Gas & Gorge, because, oops, no CTU ID. Kiefer orders the cop into the store. VVH can see what's happening by peering between the beer bottles in the refrigerator case, so he watches from inside the cooler, beginning to be impressed with Kiefer despite himself. Kiefer makes Doug disarm, de-radio, and handcuff the cop, then leads them both back to the cooler. Everyone looks at the helpless cop. He looks at everyone else, deeply embarrassed. Heh. Kiefer locks everyone inside the cooler, then goes back out to the store to wait. VVH has this "no fucking way" look on his face the entire time. Kiefer turns to glare at his hostages between the beer bottles. It's 10:22:16.