Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sidekick In The Pants
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.17.2006
Upstairs, Rory is still slow on the uptake: "I don't understand. So, your grandmother's Buddhist. Why are we...oh my God! Your mother's mother doesn't know she's a Seventh-Day Adventist! That is so weird!" Lane says it would be a very big deal if her Grandmother found out: "I just discovered today that I am simply the latest link in a chain of Kim women, who hide their real lives under their floorboards away from their mothers!" They get the stuff under the floor, just in time for Mrs. Kim to call up that the grandmother has arrived. "I want all boys!" Lane says, hoping she never has to pass this tradition on to her own children. "Praise Buddha!" Rory yells, and they go to the top of the stairs.
Below stands a tiny Korean woman, dressed like a Communist and looking sour. "I see the resemblance," Rory whispers as GMamaKim calls Lane down. What follows is a few minutes of Korean dialogue between the elder women, and though I can't tell you what they're saying, the mother-daughter relationship needs no translation. MamaKim follows her mother around the house, head bowed, as the older woman sniffs and makes faces of extreme disapproval. Finally, GMamaKim sighs heavily, and walks swiftly to the Buddha statue. "Three complaints, two insults, and a heavy dose of religious guilt," Lane explains to Rory. They watch as the two ladies kneel in front of the statue and begin the ritual of a hundred-and-eight bows. Lane notices the time, and tries to interrupt her bowing mother to tell her that they have to leave for the bachelorette party. "Eighty to go," MamaKim says, and the girls see their chance for escape and run out.
The bachelorette party is just getting started, as Lorelai, Rory, Sookie, Lane, and all her friends spill out of Doose's wearing light-up necklaces and tiaras. Lorelai does a quick check to make sure they have all their supplies, and has Rory read off the list. "Beer," she says, followed by "more beer; pretzels and beer; various chocolatey treats; alternative alcohol for those who don't like beer; and beer." With the list complete, Lorelai tells them their first stop is the Black, White and Read Book Store, where they will sneak in their booze and treats and proceed to get drunk and watch American Gigolo. "Featuring," Sookie reminds them, "some full-frontal from Mr. Gere, himself." The girls all giggle and take off for the movie, but not before Kyon can catch up to them. "Wait for me!" she calls, saying she had to wait for her mother and the two Mrs. Kims to fall asleep before she could sneak out to meet them: "Luckily, all that bowing makes them sleep like dogs." She is glad to catch them, Kyon says, because she had to get out of the house: "It stinks of kim chee, and incense, you can't breathe!" Kyon says all this while removing her conservative sweater and schoolgirl skirt, underneath which she is wearing an Avril Lavigne t-shirt and jeans. Lane is amazed: "When did you start double dressing? And...Avril Lavigne?" Kyon gets huffy: "Avril Lavigne a-rocks-uh. You're such a snob! If it's not Joy Division, you don't like it! Well, you can't dance to Joy Division!" Lane, still shocked, laughs: "My whole family is crazy!" Rory sighs: "Welcome to the club. We'll get sweatshirts." Her Sidekick goes off now, causing her to sigh anew. Rory says that Chris has been texting her constantly. "I think it's nice," Lorelai says. "You have a real Daddy/Daughter thing going on here." Yeah, Rory says, it's great, especially when Chris is sending her messages, like right now, about his grocery shopping and how he doesn't like peas, but he does like pea soup. "Interesting, no?" she says. "NO!" No, indeed. Lorelai takes command of the Sidekick. "'Your daughter is about to see Richard Gere's penis,'" she types. "That should shut him up for a while." Everybody shuts up as one of the party girls has to stop by the gazebo to vomit. "That's got to be some sort of record," Lorelai cringes, and I wonder what on Earth the girl could have consumed to make her barf so soon. Note to self: call AB Chao.
Moments later, we see the crestfallen bridal party back at the gazebo, having missed the movie. Sookie says she checked the times twice, but that they must have printed them wrong in the paper. Rory says they could have just gone in late, but Lorelai insists that it would have been too risky: "No way to know if we'd missed the money shot." Sookie agrees: "American Gigolo without the gigo-down-low is pointless!" Haaaa! Get it? Pointless? Point...less? Okay, no. They've pretty much run out of stuff to do in Stars Hollow on a wild night out, and are trying to decide how to pass the time when Zach and his bachelor party, complete with the forever-awesome Sebastian Bach, arrive. They just came from Dell's Bar, they say. Dell closed early for an anniversary. That further cramps Lorelai's plans: they were going to go there after the movie. "Well," Rory says, "we could go to the Chimney Sweep." Sookie shakes her head: "No, it burned down last week." Rory: "Ironic." Brian suggests going to his aunt's house, where there is a rec room with a TV, but Zach pronounces this to be lame. He considers going to see the next movie with the girls. "Is that the one where you see Richard Gere's Johnson?" he asks, reconsidering. "Because that seems a little weird for a bachelor party." Lane is upset. She doesn't want them all to party together, anyway -- they should all be out separately, getting wild. "Lady's right," Zach says. "C'mon men, let's go...find something wild to do." Frustrated, Lorelai says that the bachelorettes are looking pathetic now. They desperately try to think of something wild to do, but come up with nothing.