Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sidekick In The Pants
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.17.2006
Later, find themselves standing outside a pretty house. "You must be Lane," Brian's aunt says when she opens the door. "The boys are downstairs in the rec room." Lorelai smiles: "Sounds like they have foosball!" The ladies all rush in to the happy yells of the bachelors.
The next morning, Lorelai comes down dressed for the wedding to find Rory Sidekicking it on the couch. She holds up two purses, asking Rory which one says "Hi, I'm not a whore, enjoy your day." Rory tells her the pink one -- though, I would have gone with the other one -- and then gives Lorelai a rundown of Christopher's latest fascinating activities which he is somehow sending to her via the Sidekick, even though he is apparently driving around town. I know we're supposed to suspend reality, but I am not sure I can support the unsafe use of technology, here. Kids, don't text your illegitimate daughter while you're driving, especially when your other, motherless child is presumably waiting for you at home.
The phone rings, and though Rory admonishes Lorelai not to answer it because doing so will make them late, Lorelai answers anyway: "I talk fast. It's my gift." No kidding. It's Michel on the phone with news: his friend got front-row seats to see his beloved Céline Dion. "What should I wear?" he asks. "What would Céline like me in?" Heee! Lorelai says she doesn't know, but that she's on her way to pick him up. He drops the bomb: he's ditching her for the show. She begs him, saying he's already seen Céline Dion. "Only five times," he says, "and never this close! I was in the balcony with the riffraff and the people who sneak in pot!" Lorelai tries further, but Michel gives her the brush. She lays out her troubles on Rory: "Mrs. Kim made it very clear that I was not to show up without a guy. This is ridiculous. Even when I have a man, I'm still the girl who doesn't have a man!" She goes on, saying it sucks that she's known Lane her whole life and that now she can't go to her wedding because of frackin' Céline Dion. Rory asks if she wants to see if Chris can go with Lorelai. "I've got him right here," she says, brandishing the Sidekick. "He's turning left on Main and he found a buffalo head nickel in his glove compartment." Lorelai resists, saying that surely Chris is busy and can't make it there in forty-five minutes. Rory says that actually, he can be there in twentyminutes, and Lorelai finally relents. "'T.P.T.D.I.,'" Rory reads back Christopher's message, translating: "Totally Psyched To Do It." Lorelai smirks: "He's making up his own acronyms?" "Yeah," Rory sighs. "And he just learned how to make the happy face." Lorelai laughs: "Sorry, kid. What can I say? He was really hot in high school."
Later, Lorelai stands outside the Kims' house, trying hard not to look unescorted, waiting for Chris. She thanks him when he arrives, saying that he looks fine in the jacket he had in his car. Chris tries to make small talk, but when Mrs. Kim comes out the front door, Lorelai grabs him and runs up to her, pushing Chris into the house: "Mrs. Kim, I'd like you to meet Christopher Hayden. He's Rory's father! And a man!" Chris is confused, but Lorelai explains inside: "She instructed me to bring a man today. I just wanted to show her I could take direction well. You never know who knows Spielberg." Chris needs further clarification about why Lorelai had to bring a man. Lorelai, in mock surprise: "Because, an unmarried woman? Alone? Dressed the way I dress? Apparently is Korean for Jenna Jameson." Christopher cocks an eyebrow: "Oh, well then, I always wanted to meet Jenna Jameson." Why, so you could impregnate her? Lame. They run into Rory, who says that the Buddhist wedding is about to begin. "Is the Dalai Lama coming?" Lorelai jokes that yes, he's coming and he's having the chicken. I am upset that I just had to mention Jenna Jameson and the Dalai Lama in the same paragraph. Of course, it could have happened before...for all I know, Jenna Jameson could have made a film or something called Dolly Drama: The Art of Zen Butthism, and this connection has already been documented.