Episode Report Card 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Help For The Lovelorn
By Kim | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.22.2000
Scary Woman continues to say that The Clinic offers help for the "romantically frustrated, the lonely and the dejected," and that Felicity "owes it to herself to call." Felicity takes the card and asks if The Clinic offers hypnosis or something. Scary Woman says that she was always unhappy in love until she called and that "for the incurable romantic, this clinic is the cure." Then she orders a plain bagel. Clearly, there is something wrong with her, because everyone knows normal people eat cream cheese on their bagels. Felicity starts to fill her order and Scary Woman says that she carried the card around for three months before she called, and that Felicity shouldn't wait that long; then she takes her bagel and walks away. Felicity puts the card on a shelf under the phone. She looks out at Knoll, who smiles at her. Then Ben comes behind the counter and reaches in front of her. Felicity turns around and grabs the card, and dials the phone. Sally starts speaking in the style of Rod Serling: "Witness Felicity Porter: A typical nineteen-year-old college sophomore. Studious, dedicated, kind." Sally goes on to say that Felicity serves nameless patrons who, until today, couldn't look at her face and read her mind. Felicity is making a phone call that will change her life forever.
The credits feature the Felicity theme song minus Amy Jo Johnson's caterwauling. Instead, they are done like The Twilight Zone. Hey, do you think this episode is supposed to be like The Twilight Zone?
Felicity is sitting in the waiting room of The Clinic. We know, because it says "The Clinic" on the door. Felicity takes off her coat, and now she's wearing a cardigan, capri pants and loafers, so it's either a different day or she changed. A nurse named Janice King comes out and calls Felicity in. The nurse begins asking questions, and the first is, "Have you ever had surgery?" Felicity says, "Surgery?" I've noticed in this episode there are many instances where a person says a line, and then the other person repeats the line back in the form of a question. In the form of a question? See how that works. I don't know if it's lazy writing, or a Twilight Zone thing, but it bugs me. ["I think in the olden days, they had to pad shows out like that. It reminded me of Ed Wood movies." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, the nurse says it's a standard question. Felicity says that she had her tonsils out when she was eight. The nurse asks how long she has experienced heartache, and reminds her that her answers are confidential. Felicity says that it started when she came to New York fifteen months ago, and that she was only involved with two people. She continues, "Well, three if you count David. Four, total." Felicity says she puts too much importance on things, and that with the holidays and the weather, she just feels like love matters to her. Ben matters. Noel matters. She's sick of wanting a connection or a soul mate and she wants the feelings to go away. The nurse puts a form in front of her and says, "Sign here, please." Felicity asks if the treatment is some sort of psychotherapy. The nurse tells her that the sooner she signs the form, the sooner she'll get to see the doctor, so Felicity signs. The nurse tells her the doctor will see her in a moment and gives Felicity a weird look as she leaves the room.