Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT But Where Was Dr. Spaceman?
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.26.2009
Back at the studio, Jenna charges Lemon for a girl fight. She announces that, for the first time, "These crutches are real!" because Lemon tried to kill her. Lemon insincerely apologizes, but their conversation is cut off when Tracy (still blindfolded, btw) and his "space crew" (in full NASA regalia, double btw) slow-mo march down the hall toward the "space shuttle." Once they're through the door, Jenna calls out Lemon for nearly letting her die over Dennis. She says that Lemon's woman empowerment spiel was all a lie. Lemon claims that, since Jenna slept with Dennis, they should be even. Jenna uninvites Lemon to the Canadian Grammys.
Somewhere between 30 Rock and the Moon, Tracy is Lizzing with excitement. He calls Earth to check in on Kenneth, who has just gotten the privilege of holding Jack's vintage Apollo 13 model. Tracy gives an eloquently concise description of Fake Space before spying Jack's lunar module toy. He and Kenneth agree that it's totally awesome. Jack admits that he envies their rose-colored outlooks on life. At which point we get the treat of seeing Tracy's perspective: In short, it's all Tracy, all the time. Jack agrees that, perhaps seeing the world through Tracy or Kenneth's eyes would make it lovelier, but he'll have to settle to see it through his own. His own eyes, FYI, put price tags on everything in view, including Kenneth, whose sum total value Jack finds to be roughly one-twelfth of a throw pillow. Jack heads out, sans Apollo, and we get a few more sweet moments of Kenneth-vision to keep us warm on lonely nights.
Down the hall, Lemon bounces down to Jenna's dressing room to make up for putting her sister in harm's way. She offers to let Jenna sing an inauguration-inappropriate song on TGS. Jenna turns up her nose. Lemon resorts to her last-ditch effort: Jenna can tell the writers about a commercial she shot back in her Chicago acting days. Jenna jumps up and runs to the Writers' Room. She announces to the whole crew that Lemon's only acting gig ever was for a phone sex line. Frank immediately finds the clip on YouTube, and the crew has a good laugh at Lemon's expense.
Laugh at what, you ask? Well, for starters, there is some serious '90s mise-en-scène going on. Then there's Lemon's close-cropped curly mop. And, lest we forget, her phone sex name is "Bijou." Followed by, in quick succession: lipstick-stained teeth, implied girl-on-girl, the possibility of sexy talk in English, German, or Polish, and a phone number with only six digits at the end. Jack walks in just as Lemon is seductively pawing a polyester duvet with a rose stem in her mouth, then advising potential hornballs to "Call us! We love to party!" Jack doubles over in laughter. Oh, but there's more -- tug of war, specifically, and another fake European feeding Lemon pizza greasy enough to drip down her mouth. Kenneth wanders in and asks why everyone is laughing so hard about Billie Jean King. That is the last straw for Jack, who blows chunks into Kenneth's interoffice mail box. Jack's literally uncontainable glee kind of kills the mood for everyone else, but he couldn't be happier.