Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Actually, They're Neither, But Who's Keeping Score?
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.21.2006
Some guy in a suit gets off an elevator and says hello to Kendall's rack, and she and Beaver get on. Inside, Kendall asks "Boss" how they're doing, and Beaver tells her he's got six more properties added to the Phoenix Land Trust portfolio. He's gotten some tremendous deals, but they're out of capital, so they need to find new revenue streams. Kendall pointedly says that all of the investors believe that Big Dick is pulling the strings, and given that she's probably right, I can't believe the government isn't watching this company like hawks. Also, since Kendall's fronting the company, I wonder exactly how she dealt with those investors. She probably walked into the pitch meeting and tossed her bra at them, which would have been both a clever play on words and clearly her most efficacious strategy. Kendall wants to buy the Kane house (which is going up for sale), despite Beaver's opinion that all the deals are in South Neptune, the place where even pizza boys fear to tread. On the plus side, I could see that real estate in South Neptune could really take off once the writers decide that class warfare is no longer the story they want to tell. Beaver and Kendall snark about bimbosity and breast size, and then Kendall ups her cradle-robbing vibe to a new level as she flirtatiously asks Beaver whether he's ever considered that her "delightful packaging" is "a means to outwitting [her] adversary." Well, I hadn't, but I have to admit that it sounds more plausible now that I know that she knows what "adversary" means. Beaver, though, is ahead of the curve as usual: "Consider it? I'm bankin' on it." Kendall balks for a second, but then asks whether he's considered that he's her adversary, and adds that her name's on everything. Beaver smiles with an "It's cute that you think brain function and breast size are at all related" expression, and agrees.
Cliff! At the Neptune Grand, he's telling Logan that his trial date is set -- sixty days hence. Logan casually wonders what he should wear. Cliff adds, however, that the DA is offering a one-time plea bargain to involuntary manslaughter, which would bring Logan's maximum sentence down from eleven years to four: "With good behavior, if you could muster some, you'd be out in half that." So, four years, then. Logan's unimpressed, and he and Cliff bicker about Griffith and the Tinseltown diaries. "Jurors love convicting smug rich boys," says Cliff. "It's a fact." Well, it's true that in "One Angry Veronica," they did eventually vote to convict the rich boys, but I wouldn't say people were loving what was going on in the jury room. And I'm talking about the jurors, but if you've seen the episode, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Cliff adds that he's asked around: "No one likes you." It must be hard to get by in today's world without the internet. Logan makes the point that even if he had stabbed Felix, it would have been self-defense, since he was first jumped by the PCHers. Cliff agrees that that's the indicated defense, but that it may not be enough to counter Griffith's testimony. Logan flatly tells Cliff there'll be no deal, and Cliff snarks, "Well, if it helps you decide on your wardrobe, I'll be wearing an 'I'm With Stupid' t-shirt." Hee. I'd like to know why the DA is making this offer if he feels his witness testimony is so strong, though. If I knew his handle, it might make more sense.