Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Double Indemnity, Dammit
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.12.2002
Ally's office. Ally, John, and Beard are talking. Beard says that Helen "created" Helena because she hated and couldn't deal with conflict. Oh my god, we get it about the dual-personality thing. The judge needs to see Helen in order for them to win. And, Ally told her sitter she'd be home by ten, so can she.... Wilson walks in, looking mightily pissed. Ally's client is in Wilson's office and wants to speak to Ally.
Kyra-Helen sits in a chair, sketching in a notebook. Beard sees her and says, "Baby?" They hug and kiss. Ew. John steps up and says that Helen needs to be in court, and that there are drugs she can take that act "almost immediately." Cool. Give me some of them. NOW. Hey, did you ever look at your hand? I mean, really look at your hand? John asks Ally to take Helen home with her tonight, since Helen comes out for Ally, and Ally's house is big enough for a whole Brady Bunch of crazies. Then Ally can have a fun party, and bring Helen to court tomorrow. Helen hugs Beard and says she just wants her life back. Beard says he knows. Barf.
Ally's Very Very Very Fine House. Maddie takes down notes on what Ally wants on her cake. Sprinkles? And thirty-five candles, is it? Ally says that's funny. Helen says that Maddie has Ally's "delicate face," and that she'd like to paint a watercolor of the two of them. Maddie's all, do you paint? It's been a year since she has, says Helen. She and her Beard "so want children. Twice [she's] been pregnant, and both times Helena took care of it." Dude, Helen talks like she emerged from a bodice-ripper. Do you want children ever so much? Do you want them so? Maddie is all, "took care of it"? How do you mean? Ally shushes her and says they'll talk about it later. Helen says she can't blame Helena, since she runs a "mini-fashion empire, and you can't work and have children." Oh no, no one ever does that. How can you? Why, when you have a kid, you have to just stop everything until the child becomes an adult. Why, I can't imagine anyone even wanting to work when she has a child! God, it must be horrible for the poor. How do they survive? Helen says that Helena will "come out in court tomorrow," since Helen "can't survive places like that," and in those stressful situations, "Helena has always come running to the rescue." Ally says that court will "be safe, and that [Helen] needs to stay focused on [Ally]." Oh yeah, that'll make everything so much better. Because Ally is so strong and certain. A real pillar of salt. I mean, "strength."