Episode Report Card Cate: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Seven Is Enough
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.02.1997
Eric's alone in the church office when the Colonel walks in, smoking a cigar, which Eric asks him to put out. They're off to a great start. The Colonel asks about Eric's loathsome sister, Julie, the drunk. Does that mean he's not in touch with her either? Eric and his father spar boringly for a bit until the Colonel starts in on the CamKids' faults. He claims that Matt is a "rebel" who's going to be real trouble. And what, pray tell, is Matt rebelling against, anyway? Maybe he's rebelling against rebellion, because to me, he seems about as conformist as you can get. Lucy is described as needing "attention and approval." Okay, he's probably right about that one. He may be right about Simon and Ruthie, too, who are "well on their way to being spoiled rotten." The Colonel argues that RevCam is unobservant, and to prove his point, he gets up and pushes aside some choir robes to reveal a little disheveled boy. Eric introduces himself as "Eric Camden, the reverend." The scruffy boy describes himself as "George, the orphan." For some reason, that makes me laugh hysterically. Which is probably not the intended effect.
In the CamKitchen, the CamRents and the Colonels discuss George The Orphan. RevCam says that George was just returned from his twelfth foster home and has figured out that, at the age of nine, he probably won't be adopted, so he keeps running away from the orphanage. The Colonel's assessment: "Boy's got guts and initiative." Okay, whatever. Eric asks if the family can keep the orphan until Monday. I guess he's preparing to impart some of his patented "problems fixed in thirty minutes or it's free" counseling on the unfortunate orphan boy. Oh wait -- his advice is always free anyway. And worth every penny! The Colonel calls keeping the orphan boy for the weekend a "crackerjack idea." When he adds, "Having that homeless boy around might make everyone appreciate how easy they have it," Eric smacks his own forehead in frustration, causing SuperMom's stupid Clapper system to shut off the lights. Who thought this was a good idea for a subplot? Really, I want to know, so I can kick his or her ass.
Simon and George The Orphan are discussing Simon's alleged good luck. Simon goes on and on about how, if he were a superhero, he would call himself Luckyman. Just chill, Simon. We all know that you're going to end up a forty-five-year-old virgin, just like your brother. Simon climbs into the top bunk and claps a few times, trying to get the light to turn off. When it doesn't, George gets up and turns the light off manually. Oh, what a poignant way to make us feel guilty about our decadent North American lifestyles! Knowing that, somewhere, a little homeless orphan has the courage to get up and turn a light off by hand makes me think that maybe there's some hope left for our society.