Episode Report Card Sars: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Failing Down
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.10.2000
Classroom. A teacher takes attendance. Repeated utterances of "Witter? Witter?" Ben Stein waits impatiently for his check to arrive; an annoyed Dawson looks at Pacey's empty chair.
On the porch of the CYC, Joey asks Crush Doppelganger if she can get him anything else. "Okay, weird girl, what gives?" Heh. Joey doesn't know what he means; he points out that she's compulsively refilling his iced tea, she's smiling and hovering, and "worst of all, you totally dropped that whole snappy sarcasm thing you had working for you yesterday." Thanks for the meta-statement on Joey's character, Crush. In addition, word. Joey continues to bustle about and says she's just trying to do her job. "Yeah, well, at least yesterday, you were entertaining; today, you're just creeping me out," Crush tells her, and asks her to sit down for a second. "Why?" "Because, since you elected not to wear hose with that little skirt, everyone can see your undies," Crush informs her. Oh, wait. I said that. Sorry. Anyway, she sits down next to him, clearly uncomfortable, and Crush points at various people at the lawn party in front of them and lets Joey in on their secrets -- who's sleeping with whom, who's had plastic surgery, so on and so forth. Then he points at Non-Liz Non-Claiborne and calls her "the worst one of all," adding that back in the day, she got married "to one of the beautiful people," but the guy dumped her for "a younger model," so she packed up her kid and got a job "where she could be around the Fortune 500 set all day long." Anyone else see the plot "twist" crossing the Colorado Rockies right now? Okay, just checking. "Wow. No wonder she's such a bitch," Joey says, and asks how Crush knows all this stuff. "Hang around this place long enough, you absorb a lot of useless information," Crush says, adding that the club members have all the money in the world, and "not an ounce of class." Yeah -- takes one to know one, ass. Joey stares at him, brow furrowed.
Dissolve to Capeside marina at night. "What's happening, gorgeous?" Jen asks Jack. "Hey," Jack says; his voice sounds dry with fear even in that one syllable. "So, you rang, I ran. What's up?" Jack says he just wants to talk. Jen eyes their surroundings and teases him that "it's kinda romantic, don't you think?" before telling him that, if he's considering "a crossover episode, now's bad timing. I'm a taken woman." Jack, laughing up until the words "taken woman," clears his throat and asks if she's heard from Henry. She hasn't, but she thought about what Jack said the other day, and she's just going to give Henry time and it'll turn out fine. "Yeah," Jack says feebly, and asks her how she'd feel "if things went the other way." Jen doesn't get it; Jack wonders what would happen if she talked to Henry and things didn't go so well, and asks if she's considered that possibility. "Where is this stuff coming from?" Jen asks, concerned. Jack scoffs, "Nowhere! Forget it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He proposes getting dinner, and he starts to head down the boardwalk, but Jen isn't put off so easily: "Jack? Have you talked to Henry?" Jack stares at her for a long moment before admitting, "Yes." "All right -- what the hell's going on?" Jen quavers. Jack says he's just worried about her, but Jen cuts him off: "He asked you to talk to me, didn't he?" Jack tries to stammer that no, he didn't, but Jen asks if Henry's breaking up with her, and when Jack continues to stammer, Jen snaps, "You know, he's lying to you, and you're lying to me." "Jen, come on --" "Just leave me alone," she says, and she waves Jack away and does the Mack Stomp on out of there. Jack watches her go, then slumps against the boardwalk railing.
Joey answers the door of the PB&B to find Dawson, who asks, "It's not too late, I hope?" She stammers no, of course not, and invites him in. He dropped by to return a few of her CDs; she looks at them and laughs, "You're kidding me, right?" He says he's weeding out "some of the more embarrassing reminders of [his] callow youth" from his music collection. "Callow"? God and sonny Jesus, writers, it isn't a Maugham novel. Knock it off. Joey gets two glasses out of a cabinet and points out that he borrowed the CDs "like three years ago." Joey, please put on a bra. You have wall-eye boob, and I don't need to see it. After a bit more awkward rambling, Dawson falls silent. Joey offers him a drink, which he declines, saying he should go, and when she starts to say something, Dawson pinches the bridge of his nose and whines that it's none of his business, and Joey asks what, and he grits out, "Pacey." Joey tells him to start making sense. Dawson starts to do the frustrated-hands-through-hair blocking, stops himself, claws at an errant chunk of bangs, and urges Joey to talk to Pacey. "About?" "About school," Dawson says, adding with patent reluctance that Pacey skipped school that day, "and if he's not careful, he's going to flunk out." Joey stares. Dawson says he doesn't know why on earth he should care, but he's there, and if there's anyone who can help Pacey, it's Joey. Joey sneers that, if Pacey really had a problem, she'd know about it. Dawson doesn't think so. He says quietly that "when you love someone, you want her to be proud of you. You want her to think there's nothing in the world that you're incapable of." Joey adopts a worried mien and looks down. Dawson goes on in this vein a bit longer. Silence falls. Dawson wishes Joey goodnight and leaves, pinching the bridge of his nose some more.