Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The God Of Small Things
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.04.2011
LESBIAN DINER
Dana: "Do you know Andrew Wiley?"
Kalinda: "He ruined my only meaningful relationship on this cold hell we call Earth, so yeah. You could say that."
Dana: "He thinks L/G buys wins."
Kalinda: "That's dumb. What else."
Dana: "Have you ever fucked Cary?"
Kalinda: "You ... talk a lot about sex. Like a lot."
Dana, licking her chops: "Sex is interesting! Cary talks about you during sex."
Kalinda: "That's two things I didn't know."
Dana, molesting a coffee mug: "You want to know what he says?"
Kalinda: "I think you want to tell me."
Dana, licking the diner booth: "I could 'go' either 'way.'"
Kalinda: "Yeah, I know. You flirt with everybody, all the time."
Dana, peeking out from between her legs: "We both do that. That's a thing we share."
Kalinda: "Actually it's not. I have never flirted with anybody I wouldn't sleep with. That's what makes Cary's constant discomfort so ridiculous and cowardly. And sad."
Dana: (Stares a smoking hole in Kalinda's jacket. Luckily, she already knows where to buy a replacement.)
In other news, I think I am a lesbian now.
ARBITRATION
In some weird Hail Mary -- so to speak -- Alicia reads that Leviticus passage aloud again, and Deb testifies that she's merely part of a minority religious cult that thinks the Bible is literally true -- i.e., the people that equally literal-minded atheists think they're talking about, when they talk about religion -- and that "homophobia" is a slur that has nothing to do with her horrible, awful, stupid, shameful beliefs.
Louis: "So but then the next part is, that you should kill gay dudes, right? In the Bible?"
Deb: "Oh, well see, that part doesn't count. For some reason."
Louis: "Wait, what?"
Deb: "No, because Jesus told us we don't have to follow the rules except when we decide to, or something."
Alicia: "I feel like Louis is trying to resolve basic 'religious' issues that stupid literal-minded people have been fighting about for centuries."
Arbitrator: "Yeah. The only real question is whether the Provost knew that she was being pseudo-religious with her hate speech, or if it was just regular bigotry and bullshit."
Alicia: "How's it going, Louis?"
Louis: "Fine, let's make a deal."
Alicia: "My day is going so great!"
(Grace: "I am going to get abducted and brutally murdered in five, four, three...")